Flute Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three limericks from a Long Island contest where you had to use the words Lewinski and Kaczynski.

There once was a gal named Lewinsky
Who played on a flute like Stravinsky
' Twas' 'Hail to the Chief''
On this flute made of beef
That stole the front page from Kaczynski.

Said Bill Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky
We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski,
Since you look such a mess,
Use the hem of your dress
And wipe that stuff off of your chinsky.

Lewinsky and Clinton have shown
What Kaczynski must surely have known:
That an intern is better
Than a bomb in a letter
Given the choice of how to be blown.

Flutes: If you are a flute player then you're probably smart, strong, out-going, and have a lot of friends. But you might want to watch out for low brass players because some of them may not enjoy your high pitched melodies.
Compatibility: Trumpets, clarinets and saxophone players are OK, but stay clear from tuba players.

Clarinet: If you play the clarinet then you're most likely to be strong, and strong-willed, skilled and talented, smart, and of course, romantic. The future is always in your past and the past is always in your future. As the same for flute players, watch out for the low brass section. Compatibility: Flutes, trumpet and French horn players are advised.

Oboe: If the oboe is your skill then you are smart, very talented, well rounded, cunning, dexterous, and clever. Beware of clarinets though, because its just genetic for them to dislike you. Compatibility: Flutes, French horns, and trumpet players are all right, but steer clear from clarinets.

Sarah's secret weapon for the debate. I wonder if Biden can play flute like this?

Q: What's the definition of a minor second? A: Two flutes playing a unison. Flute players spend half their time tuning their instrument and the other half playing out of tune. Q: Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories? A: To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes. Q: What is perfect pitch on a flute? A: When it misses the rim of the toilet as you throw it in.

Q: What`s the definition of a minor second?
A: Two flutes playing unison.

Flute players spend half their time tuning their instrument and the other half playing out of tune.

Q: Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?
A: To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Q: What is perfect pitch on a flute?
A: When it misses the rim of the toilet as you throw it in.