Flute Jokes / Recent Jokes

This is from a contest on Long Island. The requirements were to use the words
Lewinski and Kaczynski in a limerick. Here are the 3 winners.
Entry # 1
There once was a gal named Lewinsky
Who played on a flute like Stravinsky
'Twas "Hail to the Chief"
on this flute made of beef
that stole the front page from Kaczynski.
Entry # 2
Said Bill Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky
We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski,
Since you look such a mess,
use the hem of your dress
And wipe that stuff off of your chinsky.
Entry # 3
Lewinsky and Clinton have shown
what Kaczynski must surely have known:
that an intern is better
than a bomb in a letter
given the choice of how to be blown.

FLUTE: Slightly less effective as the piccolo but still nothing to be trifled with. The flute possesses the same destructive qualities as the piccolo but is required in greater numbers to do so. Sixth and seventh grade females are especially effective with this weapon and are to be approached with extreme caution.

Q: What's the definition of a minor second? A: Two flutes playing a unison.Flute players spend half their time tuning their instrument and the other half playing out of tune. Q: Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories? A: To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.Q: What is perfect pitch on a flute? A: When it misses the rim of the toilet as you throw it in.

Q: What`s the definition of a minor second?
A: Two flutes playing a unison.
Flute players spend half their time tuning their instrument and the other half playing out of tune.
Q: Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?
A: To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.
Q: What is perfect pitch on a flute?
A: When it misses the rim of the toilet as you throw it in.

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Flute!
Flute who?
Flute in the cellar, everything is soaked!

There once was a gal named Lewinsky
Who played on a flute like Stravinsky
'Twas "Hail to the Chief"
on this flute made of beef
that stole the front page from Kaczynski

How many flute players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5: 1 to screw in the lightbulb, 1 to push her off her ladder, and three to complain about how they could have pushed her off the ladder better.