Fly Jokes / Recent Jokes

It all depends on local custom. In Australia, a fly in one’s soup results in it being sent back to the kitchen and a row with the management.
In England, the head waiter quietly, daintily, fastidiously extracts the fly and removes it beneath a serviette.
In France, the soup is eaten, the fly left high and dry on the side of the bowl.
In the Orient, the fly is eaten first and washed down by the soup.
In Scotland, the fly is shaken over the bowl and carefully wrung out. Then the soup is consumed.
And there are places where the diner stares into the bowl and complains. “What’s this? Only one fly? ”

There were 3 men having soup together in a restaurant. One was white, the others were Asian and Jewish. They all found out that there was a fly in each of their soups. The white guy was horrified and called the waiter to replace the soup. The Asian guy saw what the white guy did, and said "such a waste of food." He then spooned out the fly and threw it away. The Jewish guy saw what both men did, and said "Such a waste of food." He then picked the fly up with his fingers, squeezed the soup out of it and sucked it, then threw it away.

The setting is a quiet and serene country stream weaving through the gentle hills of a grassy plain. All is quiet and still, and, lo, a small fly hovers a few inches above the quiet waters of the stream. Beneath the water floats a small fish. The fish thinks to itself, if that fly just drops two inches, I will be able to jump out of the water and catch it. Now, standing on the bank of the stream lurks a bear. The bear looks at the scene and thinks to itself, if that fly drops just two inches, then the fish will jump out of the water to catch it, and I will be able to dash into the stream and snap up the fish in my mouth. Crouching nearby the stream, in the tall grass, waits a hunter. The hunter looks at the scene and thinks to himself, if that fly drops just two inches, then the fish will spring out of the water to catch it, then bear will dash out into the river, and I'll get a clear shot at the bear. Sitting at the entrance to its hole, is a small field mouse. Looking at the scene, more...

There was this fish, and this fish was watching a fly, the fish wanted the fly to drop six inches so he could jump and eat it. There was a bear on the shore, he wanted the fly to drop six inches so the fish would jump and the bear could swipe the fish for lunch. There was a hunter in the woods, he wanted the fly to drop six inches so the fish would jump, the bear would swipe and the fish and come out into plain view. There was a mouse eyeing the hunters sandwhich, he wanted the fly to drop six inches so the fish would jump, the bear would move into plain view, the hunter would shoot the bear then the hunter would go get the bear and the mouse could get the sandwhich. There was a cat waiting for the fly to drop six inches so the fish would jump, the bear would move into plain view, the hunter would shoot the bear and for the mouse to go for the sandwhich. So the fly drops six inches, the fish jumps in the air, the bear catches the fish, the hunter shoots the bear and the mouse swipes more...

A Sardar Was Walking Along, When He Looked Up To
Observe A Bird Flying Overhead. Suddenly, The Bird
Dropped A Load When It Was Directly Over Him. The
Sardar Says, "Good Thing That Cows Don't Fly."

One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub together. The proceeded to each buy a pint of Molson Canadian. Just as they were about to enjoy their beverage three flies landed in each of their pints. The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened. The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking it over the pint, yelling... "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!"

A Brit, an Irishman, and a Scot go out to a pub and order 3 pints. They each find a fly floating on the top of their mugs. The Brit says, " Bartender, can I have a spoon?" and quietly removes the fly from his brew. The Irishman says, " Get out of there!" and flicks the fly away with a finger. The Scot picks up the fly with his fingers and says, " Alright ya wee fucker. Spit it out! Now!"