Fly Jokes / Recent Jokes
Once upon a time, there was a non-conforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter.
However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly started to fly south. In a short time, ice began to form on his wings and he fell to earth in a barnyard, almost frozen.
A cow passed by and crapped on the little sparrow. The sparrow thought it was the end. But, the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings. Warm and happy, able to breathe, he started to sing. Just then a large cat came by and, hearing the chirping, investigated the sounds.
The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird and promptly ate him.
The moral of the story:
1. Everyone who craps on you is not necessarily your enemy.
2. Everyone who gets you out of the crap is not necessarily your friend.
3. And, if you’re warm and happy in a pile of crap, keep your mouth shut.
Kuttappan was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them. ”
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff,
“OK, Kuttappan how about Tom Cruise? ”
“Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it. ”
So Kuttappan and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, “Babu! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch! ”
Although impressed, Kuttappan’s boss is still skeptical.
After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Kuttappan that he thinks Kuttappan’s knowing Cruise was just lucky.
“No, no, just name anyone else”, Kuttappan says.
“President Bush, ” his boss quickly retorts.
“Yes, ” Kuttappan says, “I know him, let’s fly out to Washington. ”
And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Kuttappan on the tour and motions him and his more...
Skinny and fatty were playing
fatty blew off and skinny flew away
Once upon a time, there was a nonconformist sparrow who decided to not fly south for the winter. However, soon the weather had turned so cold that he reluctantly decided to fly south. In a short time, ice began to form on his wings, and he fell to earth nearly frozen solid, landing in a barnyard.
A cow passed by where the sparrow had fallen and crapped on the little bird. The sparrow thought it was the end, but the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings! Warm and happy and able to breath, the sparrow started to sing. Just then, a large cat came by and heard the chirping. The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird, and promptly ate him.
The moral of the story: Everyone who craps on you is not necessarily your enemy; everyone who gets you out of crap is not necessarily your friend; and if you're warm and happy in a pile of crap, you might just want to keep your mouth shut.
Q. If seagulls are called seagulls because they fly over the sea, what are they called when they fly over the bay?
A. bagels
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What did the zen-master say to the New York City hotdog vendor?
A. Make me one with everything.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What's the name of the ninth reindeer?
A. Olive as in' olive the other reindeer'.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What did George Washington say to his men before they got into the boat to cross the Potomac River?
A. Men. ... get in the boat...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Why is a Texas tornado like a Tennessee divorce?
A. Somebody's gonna lose a trailer.
Three guys are in a bar on the top of a cliff. The first guy says to the other guys
"You know, if had just one more beer, I think I could fly." The second guy says
"No Way!" So the first guy orders a beer and drinks it.
Then all three guys walk out to the edge of the cliff. The first guy jumps off,
starts falling to the ground, and then flies back to the top of the cliff.
The second guy is totally amazed, so he says "You know, if I had another beer,
I bet I could do that too." So all three guys go into the bar, and the second guy
has another beer.
After he finished, he said "Ok, I will be able to fly now" So they all went
outside and the second guy jumped off of the cliff and feel to the bottom,
where he hit the ground and died instantly.
The third guy turned to thefirst guy and said "You know Superman, you
are a real jerk when you drink"