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CHOCOLATE

Chocolate is God's way of reminding men how inadequate they are. I am vividly confronted with this fact every time my wife and I go out to a restaurant. When it gets to dessert, my wife usually orders the most chocolate-saturated dessert possible: It's the one called' Unstoppable Double-Fudge Chocolate Mudslide Explosion' or some such thing.

I always wonder why anyone would want to eat anything that promises a catastrophic natural disaster in your mouth.

The dark brown monstrosity arrives at the table, and my wife takes the first bite. Before the fork is even removed from her mouth, a small moan escapes her lips. Her eyes, previously perfectly aligned, first cross slightly and then faze completely, pupils dilating in pure chocolate pleasure before the eyelids clamp down in ecstasy. The hand not holding the fork clenches into a fist and starts pounding the table. The silverware rattles.

After about six minutes of this, she finally more...

Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support waiter.
Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup. Try eating it with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl. What kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem.
How was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to do with the fly in my soup?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the more...

Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I’ll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There’s a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won’t be there this time.
Patron: No, it’s still there.
Waiter: Maybe it’s the way you’re using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it’s a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day more...

Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I`ll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There`s a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won`t be there this time.
Patron: No, it`s still there.
Waiter: Maybe it`s the way you`re using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it`s a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each more...

three chineese men were traveling to america. when they got there the first chineese man took singing lessons and learned to sing memememememe.the second man went to a steakery and learned to say knife and fork. the third chinese man went into a candy store and learned to say goodie goodie gum drops. The men then went to see a movie. at the movie a man got viciously murdered. the police arrived and asked the chinese men who did this. the first man said mememememe. the cop then asked with what he did it. the second man said knife and fork. the cop got angry and said your going to jail. the third man said goodie goodie gum drops.

Patron: Waiter!

Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support. What seems to be the problem?

Patron: There's a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.

Patron: No, it's still there.

Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup. Try eating it with a fork instead.

Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.

Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl. What kind of bowl are you using?

Patron: A SOUP bowl!

Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem. How was the bowl set up?

Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to do with the fly in my soup?!

Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?

Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!

Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the more...

At the Senior Citizens' luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up
a conversation and discovered that they both loved to fish. Since both of them were
widowed they decided to go fishing together the next day.
The gentleman picked the lady up and they headed to the river to his fishing boat and
started out on their adventure. They were riding down the river when there was a
fork in the river and the gentleman asks the lady, "Do you want to go up or down?"
All of a sudden the lady stripped off her shirt and pants and made mad passionate
love to the man right in the boat. When finished the man couldn't believe what had
just happened, but he had just experienced the best sex that he'd had in years.
They fished for a while and then continued on down the river when soon they came
upon another fork in the river. He asked the lady, "Do you want to go up or down?"
There she went again, stripped off and more...