France Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blond man, Mark, was going to France over the summer. So he asked the advice of his friend, who had been to Paris last year.
"Oh!" his friend said, "The food in France is fabulous! Be sure to ask about their frog legs."
"FROG legs? Really?" Mark couldn't believe it.
"Yeah. It seems strange, doesn't it?"
Mark agreed to ask.
A month later, Mark flew to France. He had a wonderful time seeing the sights, and forgot all about his friend's advice until his very last night, right before dinner. He was already seated at a table, and soon a waiter walked up to him to take his order.
"Well..." Mark pondered, "I'm not sure what I want." He decided to ask, then and there. "Say- do you have frog legs?"
"But of course!" replied the waiter, proud of the quality of his restaurant.
Mark turned a shade of white. It was true!
"Are you okay, sir?"
"I'm... fine," more...

The makers of French's Mustard made the following recent statement:We at the French's Company wish to put an end to statements that our product is manufactured in France. There is no relationship, nor has there ever been a relationship, between our mustard and the country of France. Indeed, our mustard in manufactured in Rochester, NY. The only thing we have in common is that we are both yellow.

(This story is old and is from a time when even in France certain rubber and
leather goods were not openly sold.)
An American couple is in Paris, a much awaited trip, when suddenly the wife
dies of a heart attack. The husband decides to have her buried there as the
visit to France was something they had longed for for many years. All
arrangements are made when he suddenly realizes that he doesn't have a black
hat for the funeral. The hotel concierge tells him that what he wants is a
"chapeau noir." So off he goes to find a store open late.
First he meets a gendarme and in his fractured French asks, "M'sieur, ou
pouvais-je acheter un capeau noir?" (1)
The policeman is a bit surprised but, after thinking a bit, gives our friend
directions. The store-if that is what it is-looks a little seedy and run
down, but the man behind the counter looks friendly so in goes our friend.
He speaks more...

Q: How does a German eat mussels
A: *KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK*. .. AUFMACHEN! !!
Q: What`s the difference between a German and a shopping trolley?
A: A shopping trolley has a mind of its own.
Why are there so many tree lined streets and leafy lanes in France?
Germans like to march in the shade.
After much discussion as to where the capital of the new Germany should be -- Bonn or Berlin -- a compromise was struck: Paris.
Belgium`s national motto:
Belgium: Gateway to France!
Q: How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast?
A: They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving.
Q: What is the difference between the Dresden bombing and Germany`s best comedian?
A: Only the first one can make you smile.
Q: Why was the Dresden bombing a mistake?
A: The RAF made a (H)ASH of it!
Q: How many people fron Dresden can you fit in a mini?
A: About 25000 if you`ve got a shovel
Heard about the new more...

Marketing is a foreign language unto itself:
GM cars: Originally sold in Belgium using the slogan, "Body by Fisher," which translated as "Corpse by Fisher."
The Jotter: A pen made by Parker. In some Latin countries, jotter is slang for "jockstrap."
Puffs tissues: In Germany, puff is slang for "whorehouse."
Cue toothpaste: Marketed in France by Colgate-Palmolive until they learned that Cue is also the name of a popular pornographic magazine.
Schweppes Tonic Water: The company changed the name from Schweppes Tonic Water to Schweppes Tonica when they learned that in Italian, "il water" means "the bathroom."
The Ford Caliente: Marketed in Mexico, until Ford found out "caliente" is slang for "streetwalker." Ford changed the name to S-22.
The Rolls-Royce Silver Myst: In German, mist means "human waste." (Clairol's Mist Stick curling iron had the same problem.)
Laying more...

Q: Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris?
A: He was declared to be in Seine.
Fred was saying his prayers as his father passed by his bedroom door. "God bless Mommy, and God bless Daddy, and please make Calais the capital of France." "Fred," said his father, "why do you want Calais to be the capital of France?" "Because that`s what I wrote in my geography test!"
What is the Guillotine?
A French chopping centre.
Which ghost was president of France?
Charles de Ghoul.
First witch: I`m going to France tomorrow.
Second witch: Are you going by broom?
First witch: No, by hoovercraft.

War without France would be like. .. uh. .. World War II