Frank Jokes / Recent Jokes

Joe and Frank were in the office, and noticed that someone had put up a suggestion box with some 3x5 cards next to it. Both decided that this was a great idea, and each took a card to fill out.
Joe wrote, "The office workers should all be given raises!"
When he looked at Frank's card, it said "Can we all have raises, and keys to the executive washroom, and personal secretaries, and new company cars, and new coffee cups, and longer lunch breaks, and an extra three weeks vacation each year, and a holiday on St. Patrick's Day, and Columbus Day and Martin Luther King's Birthday?"
Joe said, "Frank, that isn't the right way of getting things changed around here - you shouldn't put all of your begs in one ask-it."

Saturday morning... and Bob's just about to set off on a round of golf
when he realises that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes
the washing machine is coming around at noon.
Bob heads back to the clubhouse and phones home. "Hello?" Says a little
girl's voice. "Hi, honey, it's Daddy," Says Bob. "Is Mammy near the
phone?"
"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank."
After a brief pause, Bob says, "But you haven't got an Uncle Frank,
honey!"
"Yes I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mammy!" she replies.
"Okay, then. Here's what I want you to do?? Put down the phone, run
upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mammy and Uncle
Frank that my car's
just pulled up outside the house."
"Okay, Daddy!" she says.
A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone.
"Well, I more...

Mike and Frank driving on a street, in different
directions. Out of some unfortunate mishap, the cars
slammed into each other, head-on. The two men were able
to get out of their cars without any serious injury,
but the cars were totaled.
Before Frank could say anything, Mike said,
"Instead of fighting over whose fault it was,
why don`t we just celebrate that we were able to,
come out alive?"
Frank said, "Yeah, good idea!"
"I have a bottle of whisky in the trunk, why don`t I
pull that out?" suggested Mike. He went around,
and luckily the bottle was not damaged in the accident.
He gave it to Frank and said, "Here, drink some!"
Frank took the bottle and chugged half of it down.
Then he wiped his mouth and handed the bottle over
to Mike. "Here, you have some!"
Mike passed it back and said,
"Nah, I think I`ll wait until the police get here."

There's a man named Ralph that goes into a bar, looking very depressed. A
friend approaches him and asks, ''Why the long face, Ralph?''
''Oh, I'm just bored. I know every person in the entire world now, and
there's just nothing left to challange me.''
His friend says, ''No, you can't know everyone. Do you know Frank Sinatra?''
He says, ''Sure, Frank's an old friend of mine. Here, I'll show you.'' He
goes over to a phone, dials a number. His friend overhears, ''Hey Ralph,
how ya doing?''
He talks for a while, but when Ralph hangs up, his friend is not really sure
that it was Frank Sinatra on the other end of the line, so he asks him if he
knows Bill Clinton.
Ralph says, ''Sure, me and Billy go way back.'' This time he lets him
listen in as he calls a private number. It sounds like Bill on the other
end of the line, and they go into a big discussion of the current economic
scene, and Ralph offers a few suggestions. Drawing the more...

It's Saturday morning and Bob's just about to set off on a round of golf when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So Bob heads back to the clubhouse and phones home.
''Hello?'' says a little girl's voice.
''Hi, honey, it's Daddy,'' says Bob.' 'Is Mommy near the phone?''
''No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank.'' After a brief pause, Bob says,' 'But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey!''
''Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!''
''Okay, then. Here's what I want you do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Frank that my car's just pulled up outside the house.''
''Okay, Daddy!'' A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone.' 'Well, I did what you said, Daddy.''
''And what happened?''
''Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, more...

Santa "The Claw" Claus looked down the table at the other mafia bosses. All the families were represented. Gambino, Genovisse, Corleone, Luciano, even the Sinatras put in an appearance. Santa motioned for one of the black-suited elves to hand him the paper he was holding.
"This is how's it going to be, see," said Santa, "Mrs. Claus and me are sick of youse guys moving in on our turf." He read from the paper, "Gambino: Naughty. Genovisse: Naughty. Corleone: Naughty. Luciano: Naughty. Frank Sinatra: Nice, the rest of the Sinatras: Naughty."
"He made the list and checked it twice," intoned the elf.


"Youse naughty punks are going to get the hell out of Dodge," said Santa, "Me and Frank are runnings things now."
"You can't do this," shouted Don Corleone, leaping from his seat, "My boys'll murderize ya!"
"I don't think so," said the elf, "Hope you more...

Frank was excited about his new rifle. So, he went bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear.
The black bear said: "You've got two choices.
I either maul you to death or we have rough sex."

Frank decided to bend over. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip where he found the black bear and shot it.

There was another tap on his shoulder.

This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly says: "That was a huge mistake, Frank. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have REALLY rough sex."

Again, Frank thought it was better to comply. Although he survived, it would take several months before Frank finally recovered. Outraged he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the grizzly and shot it.

He more...