Freddie Jokes

Freddie was eighteen years old, friendly, and eager to do things right. Unfortunately, he wasn't especially bright. He had just started his first job, as a delivery boy and general go-fer at a furniture warehouse. His first task was to go out for coffee.He walked into a nearby coffee shop carrying a large thermos. When the counterman finally noticed him, he held up the thermos."Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?" he said. The counterman looked at the thermos, hesitated for a few seconds, then finally said, "Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me.""Good," Freddie said. "Give me two regular, two black, and two decaf."

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Freddie!
Freddie who?
Freddie or not here I come!

Freddie ran into the kitchen crying and cradling something in his hands. "Mommy, my turtle is dead," Freddie told his mother as he held the turtle out to her.
His mother kissed him on the head, then said, "That's all right. We'll wrap him in tissue paper, put him in a little box, then have a nice burial ceremony in the back yard. After that, we'll go out for an ice cream soda, and then get you a new pet. I don't want you. . . " Her voice trailed off as she noticed the turtle move. "Freddie, your turtle is not dead after all."
"Oh," the boy said. "Can I kill it?"

>> Freddie Bloor
>> --------------
>>
>> Now this is the tale of young Freddie Bloor,
>> whose sexual equipment got jammed in the door.
>> By the time they freed him he didn't feel well
>> for his private parts were mangled to hell.
>>
>> They rushed him to hospital, the ambulance flew
>> but when they arrived there was nowt they could do.
>> What a sad blow for Fred, condemned without choice,
>> to a life with no sex and a high squeaky voice.
>>
>> But lucky for Fred, so he wouldn't feel a fool
>> some bright spark suggested a bionic tool.
>> A bright new electric one made out of brass,
>> though the batteries would have to be kept up his arse.
>>
>> So newly equipped and after a rest,
>> Fred thought he would put his new tool to the test.
>> So finding a woman, the nearest one handy,
>> he piled her with drink and made her feel randy.
>>
>> The girl without waiting, put more...

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Freddie!
Freddie who?
Freddie or not here I come!