Frenchman Jokes / Recent Jokes
A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.
“Look at their reserve, their calm, ” muses the Brit. “They must be British. ”
“Nonsense, ” the Frenchman disagrees. “They’re naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French. ”
“No clothes, no shelter, ” the Russian points out, “they have only an apple to eat, and they’re being told this is paradise. They are Russian. ”
A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, "the bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you. We will put you in a pot and cook you, eat you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die." The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword." The chief gives him a sword, he says, "Vive la France!" and runs himself through. The Englishman says, "a pistol for me, please." The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, says,"God save the queen!" and blows his brains out. The New Yorker says, "gimme a fork." The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over -- the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, it's horrible. The chief is appalled, even for a cannibal. He asks, "My God more...
An Englishman, an American and a Frenchman are visited by a genie who grants them one wish each. The Englishman wishes he was transported to a beautiful paradise. The American wishes he was rich and famous. The Frenchman wishes the Englishman and the American were back to make his mind up for him.
A Frenchman an Englishman and a Scotsman were captured by a fierce tribe. The chief came to them and said the bad news is now that we've caught you were going to kill you and then we will use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is you get to choose how you will die.
The French man says I take ze poison...
The chief gives him some poison and the Frenchman says: "Viva la France" and drinks it down.
The English man says "a pistol for me please" the chief gives him a pistol and he points it at his head, says, "God save the Queen" and blows his brains out....
The Scotsman Yorker says "give me a fork" the chief is puzzled but shrugs and gives him the fork... The Scot takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over his stomach and chest and sides. .everywhere.
There is blood gushing out all over. Its horrible... The chief is appalled and screams "what are you more...
Q: What happens when a Frenchman doesn`t pay his garbage bill? A: They stop delivering.
Q: Why did the Frenchman sell his water skis? A: He couldn`t find a lake with a hill in it.
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says " We`re having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive" The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers "God Save The Queen" and jumps. The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers "Viva La France" and he also jumps. This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers "Remember the Alamo" and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.