Frenchman Jokes / Recent Jokes
A Briton, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."
"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They`re naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."
"No way! They have no clothes and no shelter," the Russian points out, "They have only an apple to eat, and they are being told they live in a paradise. Obviously, they are Russian."
A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, “The bad news is that now we’ve caught you and we’re going to kill you. We will put you in a pot, cook you, eat you and then we’re going to use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you can choose how to die. ”
The Frenchman says, “I take ze sword. ” The chief gives him a sword, the Frenchman says, “Vive la France! ” and runs himself through.
The Englishman says, “a pistol for me please. ” The chief gives him a pistol, the Englishman points it at his head and says, “God save the queen! ” and blows his brains out.
The New Yorker says, “Gimme a fork! ” The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over–the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There is blood gushing out all over, it’s horrible. The chief is appalled and asks, “My God, what are more...
A redneck and a Frenchman were caught in Kentucky for making and selling bad moonshine. The law decided to hang them off the middle of the Ohio Bridge. They tied the rope around the Frenchman's neck and said, "Do you have any last words?"
He said, "No."
They threw him off the bridge, but the rope was too long. He removed the rope from his neck and swam to the Ohio side of the river.
Then they tied the same rope around the redneck's neck and said, "Do you have any last words to say?"
He said, "Yes, shorten up that rope boys 'cause I can't swim."
Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, " says the genie. The American says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in America." With a blink of the genie`s eye, `FOOM` - the land in America was forever made fertile for farming. The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so that no one can come into our precious country." Again, with a blink of the Genie`s eye, `POOF` - there was a huge wall around France. The Englishman asks, "I`m very curious. Please tell me more about this wall. The Genie explains, "Well, it`s about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out." The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water."
A Briton, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.
"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."
"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."
"No way! They have no clothes and no shelter," the Russian points out, "They have only an apple to eat, and are being told they live in a paradise. Obviously, they are Russian."
One day, a genie was in a remarkably good mood, so he decided to go around the world, granting people their fondest wishes.
First, he came to London, where he saw a very sad-looking Englishman. He said to the man, "I am a genie. Tell me what you want most, and I will grant it to you."
The Englishman said, "My cousin Nigel has the most beautiful mansion you ever saw, but I don't even have a house at all. It's not fair! I'm just as good as he is! Why should HE have such a beautiful house and not me? Well, I want you to give me a house even bigger than Nigel's."
The genie snapped his fingers, and the house appeared magically. The Englishman was delighted.
Next, the genie went to Paris, where he saw a sad Frenchman. The genie asked the Frenchman what he wanted most. The Frenchman said, "My cousin Pierre has the most beautiful wife you ever saw, but I don't have a wife at all. It's not fair!
Why should HE have a beautiful wife and not me? I more...
Q: Did you hear about the Frenchman who lost his license to practice medicine? A: He was caught having sex with some of his patients. It`s a shame, he was the best veternnarian in town!