Frenchman Jokes / Recent Jokes

An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says " We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive" The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers "God Save The Queen" and jumps. The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers "Viva La France" and he also jumps. This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers "Remember the Alamo" and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.

An Englishman, Frenchman, Texan, and Mexican are flying on a small plane with their friends. Near the end of the flight, they notice two engines catch fire.

The pilot comes out and says, "One of our engines caught fire, and we need to have three people jump in order to save the rest of the passengers.

The Englishman stands up, yells, "Long live the queen!", and jumps out.

The Frenchman stands up, yells, "Viva la France!", and jumps out.

The Mexican stands up, and looks out of the door, considering jumping, when the Texan pushes him out, and yells, "Remember the Alamo!"

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives.
"Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchman bragged, "And this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored me."
"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian responded, "And this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man."
When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"
"Once," he replied.
"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say to you this morning?"
"Don't stop."

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives."Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchman bragged, "And this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored me.""Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian responded, "And this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man."When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?""Once," he replied."Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say to you this morning?""Don't stop."

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on anoverseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussingtheir home lives."Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchmanbragged, "and this morning she made me delicious crepes andshe told me how much she adored me.""Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italianresponded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelet andtold me she could never love another man."When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked,"And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?""Once," he replied."Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she sayto you this morning?""Don't stop."

Mr Goldberg, from Pinsk, coming to America, shared a table in the ship's dining room with a Frenchman. Mr Goldberg could speak neither French nor English; the Frenchman could speak neither Russian nor Yiddish.

The first day out, the Frenchman approached the table, bowed and said, "Bon appétit!"
Goldberg, puzzled for a moment, bowed back and replied "Goldberg."

Every day, at every meal, the same routine occured.

On the fifth day, another passenger took Goldberg aside. "Listen, the Frenchman isn't telling you his name. He's saying' Good Appetite,' that's what' Bon appétit!' means."

At the next meal, Mr Goldberg, beaming, bowed to the Frenchman and said, "Bon appétit!".
And the Frenchman, beaming, replied: "Goldberg!"

A Frenchman was arrested and charged with having sex with a dead woman. "How do you plead?" asked the judge."Guilty or not guilty.""Not guilty," replied the man."On what grounds?" queried the judge."I didn't think she was dead....I thought she was an American."