Frenchman Jokes / Recent Jokes

An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says "We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive" The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers "God Save The Queen" and jumps. The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers "Viva La France" and he also jumps. This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers "Remember the Alamo" and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by a fierce tribe. The chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die."
The Frenchman says, "I take ze poison." The chief gives him some poison, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and drinks it down.
The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please." The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, says, "God save the queen!" and blows his brains out.
The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork." The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over -the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, it's horrible. The chief is appalled, and screams, "What are you doing???"
The New Yorker looks more...

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by a fierce tribe. The chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die."The Frenchman says, "I take ze poison." The chief gives him some poison, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and drinks it down.The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please." The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, says, "God save the queen!" and blows his brains out.The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork." The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over -the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, it's horrible. The chief is appalled, and screams, "What are you doing???"The New Yorker looks at the chief and more...

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals.
The chief comes to them and says, "the bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you. We will put you in a pot and cook you, eat you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die."
The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword."
The chief gives him a sword, he says, "Vive la France!" and runs himself through.
The Englishman says, "a pistol for me, please."
The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, says,
"God save the queen!" and blows his brains out.
The New Yorker says, "gimme a fork."
The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork.
The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over - the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, it's horrible.
The chief is appalled, even for a more...

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals.The chief comes to them and says, "the bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you. We will put you in a pot and cook you, eat you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die."The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword." The chief gives him a sword, he says, "Vive la France!" and runs himself through.The Englishman says, "a pistol for me, please." The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, says,"God save the queen!" and blows his brains out.The New Yorker says, "gimme a fork."The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork.The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over - the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, it's horrible.The chief is appalled, even for a cannibal.He asks, "My God almighty, what more...

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and an American are captured by a cannibals.
The chief says to them, "I have bad news and good news for you. The bad news is, now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you. We will put you in a pot, cook you, and eat you. Then, we will use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is, you get to choose your own method of dying."
The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword." The chief gives him a sword, he says, "Vive la France!" and drives himself through.
The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please." The chief gives him a pistol. Pointing it at his head, he says, "God save the Queen!" and shoots himself.
The American says, "Give me a fork." Puzzled, the chief shrugs and hands him a fork. The American takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over his body. There's blood gushing out everywhere and it's a horrible sight.
Appalled, the chief asks, "What are you more...

Three men, an Italian, a Frenchman, and a Jew, were condemned to be executed. Their captors told them that they had the right to have a final meal before the execution. They asked the Frenchman what he wanted.
"Give me the best French wine and French bread," he requested.
So they gave it to him, he ate it, and then they executed him. Next it was the Italian's turn.
"Give me a great big plate of pasta," said the Italian.
So they brought it to him, he ate it, and then they executed him. Now it was the Jew's turn.
"I want a big bowl of strawberries, " said the Jew.
"Strawberries!!! They aren't even in season!"
"Nu, so I'll wait..."