Fridge Jokes / Recent Jokes
He said...
"I don't now why you wear a bra; you've got
nothing to put in it."
She said....
"You wear pants don't you?"
~~~
He said...
"Shall we try swapping positions tonight?"
She said....
"That's a good idea-you stand by the
ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!"
~~~
He said...
"What have you been doing with all the
grocery money I gave you?"
She said...
"Turn sideways and look in the mirror!"
~~~
Q. How many men does it take to change a roll
of toilet paper?
A. We don't know; it has never happened.
~~~
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are
sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A. They already have boyfriends.
~~~
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where
her husband is every night?
A. A widow.
~~~
Q. Why are married women heavier than single
women?
A. Single women come home, see more...
A woman walks into the butcher shop just before closing. She says, "Thank Heavens I''ve made it in time! Have you any turkey?"
The butcher opens his fridge and takes out his only turkey, and puts it onto the scale. It weighs 41/2 pounds.
"Ah, haven''t you anything bigger?" the woman inquires.
The butcher returns the turkey to the fridge, takes it out again, and plops it onto the scale, only this time, he keeps his thumb on the turkey. The scale shows 7 1/ 4 pounds.
"Marvelous!" says the woman. "I''ll have both of them please."
How do you get an elephant into the fridge? 1. Open door. 2. Insert elephant. 3. Close door. How do you get a giraffe into the fridge? 1. Open door. 2. Remove elephant. 3. Insert giraffe. 4. Close door. How do you know there are *two* elephants in your fridge? The door won't close. How do you know there are *three* elephants in your fridge? There'll be one waiting outside in the Mini. How can you tell that an elephant has been in your fridge? By the footprints in the butter.
Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They won't stop to ask directions.
What do men and sperm have in common?
They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.
How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
Both of them.
Why did the man cross the road?
He heard the chicken was a slut.
Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.
What is the difference between men and government bonds?
The bonds mature.
Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know; it has never happened.
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A more...
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it". For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50". The next day someone stole it. Caution!. . . . . . . . . . These people Vote
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While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent
which direction was North because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?"
When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, (and has for sometime), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff".. . . . . . . . She ALSO votes!
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I used to work in technical more...
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?