Fridge Jokes / Recent Jokes

Jerry is watching the end of an intense baseball game when his wife taps him on the shoulder and asks,' Honey, could you fix the front steps? They're ready to collapse.' He sighs and says,' After the game, Flo.' Flo grinds her teeth. She nearly broke her neck climbing those stupid stairs and all he cares about is his stupid baseball game.' Well, could you fix the light in the hall? It's been flickering for weeks.' He sighs and says,' Darn it, Flo, I'm a sports fan, not an electrician. Call Joe Burkes to fix it.' Flo counters:' Can you fix the fridge door, then? It won't shut.' Jerry turns to talk to her and misses the game-winning homer. He turns back to the screen and sees people celebrating and carrying on. He wants to swear. Instead he says,' You want me to fix the fridge? Who do I look like, the Maytag Repairman?' She opens her mouth and he hushes her silent.' I need to cool down,' he says.' I'm going out.' Jerry goes to his favorite watering hole and drinks for about an hour. more...

Q: Why are bachelors thin, and married men fat? A: Bachelors come home, check to see what's in the fridge, and go to bed.?. Married men come home, check to see what's in the bed, and go the fridge.

There was a child who came back from school one day with loads of cuts and bruises and his bike broken. The concerned mother asked him what had happened. So, the child says "Well, when the fridge landed on me..."

How do you get an elephant into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Insert elephant.
3. Close door.
How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Remove elephant.
3. Insert giraffe.
4. Close door.
How do you know there are *two* elephants in your fridge?
The door won't close.
How do you know there are *three* elephants in your fridge?
There'll be one waiting outside in the Mini.
How can you tell that an elephant has been in your fridge?
By the footprints in the butter.

Three guys were at the Pearly Gates when Peter answered. He said there was one space open for someone. He asked them how they died."I came home one day and saw my wife in bed, naked. I looked all over the house and decided to check the balcony. I saw some fingers so I took a hammer and hit his fingers but a bush broke his fall so I took my fridge and threw it on him. But I felt so bad for killing a man that I killed myself.""I was painting on the 37th floor, when I slipped and fell. I was holding on to a balcony, when some guy hit me on the fingers with a hammer so I fell, and then dropped a fridge on me.""I was hiding innnocently in the fridge."

A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now." He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the light? Now? Does it look like I have a G. E. logo printed on my forehead? I don't think so." "Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right." To which he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have Westinghouse written on my forehead? I don't think so." "Fine," she says, "Then could you at least fix the steps to the front door? They're about to break." "I'm not a damn carpenter and I don't want to fix the steps," he says. "Does it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my forehead? I don't think so. I've had enough of you. I'm going to the bar!!!"So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple hours. He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home and more...

Jerry is watching the end of an intense baseball game when his wife taps him on the shoulder and asks, 'Honey, could you fix the front steps? They're ready to collapse.'
He sighs and says, 'After the game, Flo.'
Flo grinds her teeth. She nearly broke her neck climbing those stupid stairs and all he cares about is his stupid baseball game. 'Well, could you fix the light in the hall? It's been flickering for weeks.'
He sighs and says, 'Darn it, Flo, I'm a sports fan, not an electrician. Call Joe Burkes to fix it.'
Flo counters: 'Can you fix the fridge door, then? It won't shut.'
Jerry turns to talk to her and misses the game-winning homer. He turns back to the screen and sees people celebrating and carrying on. He wants to swear. Instead he says, 'You want me to fix the fridge? Who do I look like, the Maytag Repairman?'
She opens her mouth and he hushes her silent. 'I need to cool down,' he says. 'I'm going out.'
Jerry goes to his favorite watering hole and more...