Fridge Jokes / Recent Jokes

How do you get an elephant into the fridge? 1. Open door.2. Insert elephant.3. Close door.How do you get a giraffe into the fridge? 1. Open door.2. Remove elephant.3. Insert giraffe.4. Close door.How do you know there are *two* elephants in your fridge? The door won't close.How do you know there are *three* elephants in your fridge? There'll be one waiting outside in the Mini.How can you tell that an elephant has been in your fridge? By the footprints in the butter.

Q:What did the mayonaise say to the person oneping the fridge door
A:close the door im dressing

1. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? Both of them.
2. Why did the man cross the road?
He heard the chicken was a slut.
3. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.
4. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They don't stop and ask for directions.
5. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.
6. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
The bonds mature.
7. Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.
8. Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
9. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.
10. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every more...

Heaven is getting to full so god makes up a new rule that the day u die has to be a bad one or u cant get into heaven. so a guy dies and god says 2 him u know the new rule what was ur day like and the man says well i came home only 2 find my wife lying naked on the bed and telling me shes been having an affair! whats more is that the guys shes having it with is still in the house! so i search the whole house looking for him and i finally go out onto the balcony and i see this guy naked hanging off our 25 story balcony so i jump on his fingers and he falls, but hes not dead so i throw out fridge on him, and it was all so much i had a heart attack and died
god says: thats a bad day u may enter
another guy dies and god says u know the rule what was ur day like and the guy says well i was having a shower and i walked out onto the balcony with my towel wrapped around me and i slipped i fell down onto my neighbours balcony below so im hanging by my fingertips off this 25 storey more...

Q.How do you put a elephant in the fridge?
A.open the door and put it in.
Q.How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
A.open the door take the elephant out and putit in.
Q.there is a lion, a monkey, and a elephant where is the giraffe?
A.in the fridge.

Three men are standing at the gates to Heaven and the saint there says "I'm sorry guys but heaven's pretty full right now so unless your death was gruesome or unusual then you have to go down to Hell."
The first guy says "All right then. Well I suspected my wife of having an affair so one day I came home from work early and heard her moaning inside. I tried to break down the door I was so angry, but after a while I decided to use my keys. When I got in I searched the house for him but couldn't find him until I went out to the verandah for fresh air. Then I saw him clinging to the bottom railing.
"I was furious! I grabbed a hammer and started banging his fingers. He fell of into a bush so I threw the fridge on him.
"I had a weak heart and I died from the stress"
"Okay then you can go in."
The next guy says "Well I like to do push ups on my verandah every day but today it collapsed due to faulty building and I was more...

A Drunken Night A guy wakes up in a drunken stupor, opening his eyes he sees Claudia Schiffer on the bed next to him. He thinks this is a little odd, as he doesn’t remember a thing, let alone going to bed with her. He decides to get up and get himself a drink from the fridge. He gets to the fridge and opens the door and is faced with a large suitcase. He takes the suitcase out of the fridge, puts it on the table and opens it to find $1 Million. This is just a little too much for the guy who thinks he is losing his mind.
He wonders if he is hallucinating, so he goes to the window and draws back the blind. Outside on his front lawn is the Klu Klux Klan and dangling from the tree is an open noose, empty. They appear to be beckoning him and shouting. Now the guy is really freaked out, he quickly draws the blind and turns around. In the corner of his kitchen is a leprechaun, obviously drunk as well. He asks the leprechaun what is going on. “Well, ” says the leprechaun, “I was more...