Frog Jokes / Recent Jokes

Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have launched hotlines for frogs. Here is the story of one frog and his discussing with his psychic.
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"
"No," says the psychic. "Next semester in her biology class."

There was this not too bright scientist doing a study on how frogs respond to commands.
He tells a frog to jump. The frog jumps 30 feet.
He writes in his log book, frog jumps 30 feet.
Then he cuts off one leg. He gives the same command to frog.
It jumps 25 feet. In Log: Cut off one leg, frog jumps 5 less feet.
He cuts off another leg.
Frog goes 20 feet. He records it in log book.
Then he cuts off the 3rd leg, commands frog to jump. Frog jumps 10 feet.
He writes, cut off 3 legs and frog now jumps 10 less feet.
Finally, he cuts off the last leg and commands frog, JUMP! Frog doesn't move an inch.
So the scientist writes in his book...
Cut off all 4 legs and frog GOES DEAF!

There was this not too bright scientist doing a study on how frogs respond to commands.He tells a frog to jump. The frog jumps 30 feet. He writes in his log book, frog jumps 30 feet.Then he cuts off one leg. He gives the same command to frog. It jumps 25 feet. In Log: Cut off one leg, frog jumps 5 less feet.He cuts off another leg. Frog goes 20 feet. He records it in log book.Then he cuts off the 3rd leg, commands frog to jump. Frog jumps 10 feet. He writes, cut off 3 legs and frog now jumps 10 less feet.Finally, he cuts off the last leg and commands frog, JUMP! Frog doesn't move an inch. So the scientist writes in his book... Cut off all 4 legs and frog GOES DEAF!

Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs.... who arranged a running competition.
The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.
A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants....
The race began....
Honestly:
No one in crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.
You heard statements such as:
"Oh, WAY too difficult!!"
"They will NEVER make it to the top."
"Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"
The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one....
Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher....
The crowd continued to yell, "It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up....
But ONE continued higher and higher and higher....
This one wouldn't give up!
At the end everyone else had given up climbing the more...

Q. What happens when a frog parks illegaly?

A. It gets toad!

What is Kermit the Frog's middle name?
The.

There is this guy who has a 25 inch dick. He goes to a witch in the woods and asks her if she can make his dick smaller because he just can't please the ladies because it is just too big, he hasn't found a lady yet who likes it and he can't get any pleasure.
She tells him to go into the woods and he will find a frog when he finds the frog he is to ask it to marry him. If the frog says no, his cock will shrink 5 inches.
He goes into the woods and finds this frog. He asks "frog, will you marry me?"
The frog says "no" And his prick shrinks five inches. The guys thinks to himself, "Wow, that was pretty cool. But, it's still too big." So he goes back to the frog and again asks the frog: "Frog, will you marry me?"
Frog: "No, I won't marry you."
The guys dick shrinks another five inches. But that's still 15 inches and he thinks his chop is still just a little bit too big. But he thinks that 10 inches would be just more...