Frustrated Jokes / Recent Jokes

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures.The more...

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the
worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand.
Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward
her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more...

A little boy, who has a speech impediment, is trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate.
When he gets to the first house, he knocks on the door and an elderly lady answers. "Twick-or-tweat," he says.
The lady says, "I don't understand what you are trying to say, little boy."
The boy, frustrated, says, "Twick-or-tweat."
The lady says, "I'm sorry, little boy, but I don't understand you."
The boy, now mad as hell, yells to the lady, "Twick-or-tweat."
The lady says, "Oh, oh, I get it. Trick-or-treat. What are you supposed to be anyway?"
The boy answers, "I'm a piwat."
"I don't understand you," says the lady.
The boy, getting frustrated, again yells to the lady, "I'm a piwat."
The lady replies, I'm sorry, little boy, but I don't understand you."
Screaming at the top of his lungs, the boy says, "I'm a piwat."
The lady replies, more...

VERBS:
to schmooze = befriend scum
to pitch = grovel shamelessly
to brainstorm = feign preparedness
to research = procrastinate indefinitely
to network = spread disinformation
to collaborate = argue incessantly
to freelance = collect unemployment
NOUNS:
agent = frustrated lawyer
lawyer = frustrated producer
producer = frustrated writer
writer = frustrated director
director = frustrated actor
actor = frustrated human
COMPOUND WORDS:
high-concept = low brow
production value = gore
entry-level = pays nothing
highly qualified = knows the producer
network approved = had made them money
FINANCIAL TERMS:
net = something that apparently doesn't exist
gross = Michael Eisner's salary
back-end = you, if you think you'll ever see it
residuals = braces for the kids
deferral = don't hold your breath
points = see "net" or "back-end"
COMMON PHRASES:
You can trust me more...

VERBS:to schmooze = befriend scumto pitch = grovel shamelesslyto brainstorm = feign preparednessto research = procrastinate indefinitelyto network = spread disinformationto collaborate = argue incessantlyto freelance = collect unemploymentNOUNS:agent = frustrated lawyerlawyer = frustrated producerproducer = frustrated writerwriter = frustrated directordirector = frustrated actoractor = frustrated humanCOMPOUND WORDS:high-concept = low browproduction value = goreentry-level = pays nothinghighly qualified = knows the producernetwork approved = had made them moneyFINANCIAL TERMS:net = something that apparently doesn't existgross = Michael Eisner's salaryback-end = you, if you think you'll ever see itresiduals = braces for the kidsdeferral = don't hold your breathpoints = see "net" or "back-end"COMMON PHRASES:You can trust me = You must be newIt needs some polishing = Change everythingIt shows promise = It stinks rottenIt needs some fine tuning = Change everythingI'd more...

There was this lady who was sexually frustrated and had tried to get her husband sexually stimulated but nothing seemed to work. She tried sexy lingerie, toys etc etc but had no luck.
So one day she asked her friend what she should do... "It's really annoying me now! He's just not up for it. He's always out down the pub with the lads. What can I do?"
Her friend suggested, "Well, if he's always out with the lads why don't you give him an extra tenner so he enjoys himself even more and then he'll come home and thank you appropriately..."
So the woman tried this and this is what happened on his return:
Man: Take Your clothes off!
Woman thinks: Whoa! This is working!
Man: Stand on your head!
Woman: Ooohh Kinky!!!
Man: Spread your legs apart!
Woman thinks: This has really worked, give it to me!
The man then gets a small mirror and places it in-between her legs.
Woman thinks: This is a new one!
Man says: You more...

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the' no haggle' attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted,' Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!'

The shopkeeper said,' By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!'

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The more...