Fuck Jokes / Recent Jokes
Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from
some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be no longer tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.
1) TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF:
You don't know what the fuck you're doing.
2) TRY SAYING:
She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF:
She's a ball-busting bitch.
3) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF:
And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?
4) TRY SAYING:
I'm more...
The train was travelling along when a beautiful young woman entered the compartment which was deserted except for a businessman reading his paper. The man peered over his paper and asked "Would you let me fuck you for a dollar?"
"Certainly not!" exclaimed the young woman, and the businessman returned to his paper. A short while later he looked across again and said "Would you let me fuck you for a million dollars?"
After a brief pause, the woman replied "yes, I suppose I would." Again the man returned to his newspaper. A few minutes later the man asked "Would you let me fuck you for five dollars?"
"Certainly not!" replied the young woman, getting angry now "What kind of girl do you take me for?" "We've already established that" replied the man, "We're just haggling over the price!"
There were 3 boys one called shit the another called fuck and the 3rd one called manners, they all went for a bike ride one day and shit fell off his bike, fuck went to the police station to get help as it was very close and manners went to help shit who had fallen off his bike, fuck got into the police station and a police man said whats your name "fuck" police man asks again whats your name "fuck" where are your manners? "Up the road picking up shit"
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street when a rather attractive 11-year-old boy walks by. The priest says to the rabbi, "Look at that kid, let's get ovet there and fuck him." So the rabbi says, "Fuck him out of what?"
A bloke wakes up in the middle of the night and rolls over and shoves an aspirin down his wife's throat. All of a sudden she wakes up and yells, "What the fuck are you doing?" "Just giving you an aspirin for your headache." The bloke answered." But I ain't got a headache," she yelled back." Good then, Lets fuck!" said the bloke.
A father and son live on a farm. One day the father says, "Son, things haven't been going very well and I'm afraid we'll have to sell your duck. I'm really sorry, but we need the money. I want you to take the duck to town and bring back the money." So the son takes the duck and sets off down the road. Halfway to town he runs into a hooker. She says, "Hey kid, I could show you a really good time if you're interested." He replies, "I'd sure like to, but all I have to pay with is this duck." "Well," she says, "maybe we can work something out." So they go off into the bushes and the branches are snapping and feathers flying..... When they come out, she is breathless and says, "Wow! That was incredible! Not bad for a kid. Tell you what, if you can do that again, I'll give you back your duck." As you might guess, he's all for that idea. So they return to the bushes and get it on again. When they are done she is still amazed at his more...