Fucked Jokes / Recent Jokes

I met a guy best of all, too many times I sucked his balls, I've fucked him sitting, I've fucked him lying, If he had wings I'd fuck him flying, and now he's gone, but not forgotten, So I'll dig him up and Fuck him rotten!

Humpty Dumpty fucked a fat whore,
Humpty Dumpty blew on the floor,
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
Lay the bitch down and fucked her again.

A man is stealing a stereo from a car. As he is stealin it he pulls the stereo and runs out the car. The steres got fucked up because he pulled on the wires. His friend comes over to his house. The man tells his friend ” Damn foo i just jacked this stereo but this shit got fucked up” His friends tells him “Just sell it to the first stupidass you see” The replies “Wanna buy it”

An Irish man walks into a church and goes to confess his sins

Bloke "father father i fucked a cat"

Father "a terrible sin this weeks penance is 20 whips around the back"

That night the vicar was thinking how he did it and thought he will give it a go so he picked up his cat turned him round and was just about to start when the cat turned and clawed his bollocks blood was coming out everywhere

Next week the same bloke came in bloke " father father i fucked a cat again"

Father " how did you do it" bloke " i put the cat in a box wrap cotton wool around him and cut a hole at the bottom of the box then i am ready"

The father turned round and said" your penance this week is to fuck the cat without the box"

Amazon Explorer (rated)
An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself, "Oh God, I'm fucked."
There is a ray of light from heaven and a voice booms out, "No, you are not fucked. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you."
So the explorer picks up the stone and proceeds to bash the living crap out of the chief. As he stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and surrounded by 100 natives with a look of shock on their faces, God's voice booms out again, "Okay.. .. NOW you're fucked."

T H E "F" - W O R D S T Y L E G U I D E
Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck". It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.
In language"fuck” falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John).
It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck). It can also be used as an adjective(Mary is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary).
It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, fuck she's also stupid). As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "fuck".
Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible more...

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck". It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.

In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories.

It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John).

It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck).

It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary).

It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, fuck she's also stupid).

As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "fuck". Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible more...