Funeral Jokes / Recent Jokes

An old man and old woman had been married for about 52 years when one day the old woman died. The entire family showed up to the funeral.Every day after the funeral the old man would show up at the grave with his dog and spend a few minutes out there. About two months later a priest saw the old man out there with his dog and decided to go talk to the old man."Hello there. You know, we see you come out here every day to visit your wife's grave and we just think that so sweet. We were all wondering if the dog is something that was special to your wife since you always bring it out here with you.""No, actually I bring the dog out here to pee on the grave. I'd do it myself, but I'd get arrested for indecent exposure!"

A man is at his laywer's funeral and and is suprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. "Why are you all at this man's funeral?

An old man and old woman had been married for about 52 years when the old woman died.
The entire family showed up for the funeral, and every day after the funeral the old man would visit the grave with his dog and spend a few minutes out there.
The groundskeeper at the cemetary, after two months of observing this ritual, decided to go talk to the old man.
"Hello there. You know, I see you come out here every day to visit your wife's grave and I just think that so sweet. I was wondering if the dog is something that was special to your wife since you always bring it out here with you."
"No, actually I bring the dog out here to pee on the grave. I'd do it myself, but I'd get arrested for indecent exposure!"

You might be a reneck if...

The make, model, and license plate number of your truck are obscured by a layer of mud.

You have got more bumper stickers than children.

Your wife has ever taken two pairs of shoes to a funeral: one pair to trudge thru the wet Georgia red clay between the house and the pickup, and the other pair to wear at the funeral.

You have ever been in a funeral where the flower truck was a pickup, particularly if it belonged to one of the family, more particularly if it was yours.

You have ever had to stop at a car wash on the way to a funeral to wash the dump dirt from the back of your pickup so you can use it as a flower truck.

Your clawfoot bathtub has ever been unusable because your wife was using it as a brooder.

Your clawfoot bathtub sometimes serves as a hospital for injured fowl.

You have ever come home and heard a ruckus in the bathroom. When you looked in, one of the more...

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

Phoning the florist to order some flowers for her lovers funeral, woman was caught off guard when asked what message she wanted on the card. "Message?" she sputtered. "Well, I guess, You will be missed." Visiting the funeral home, she was pleased that her floral tribute had arrived but mortified that the card had her exact words: "I guess you will be missed."

A minister well known for his beautiful singing voice came home
visibly upset after consulting with a new widow about funeral plans
for her recently deceased husband. His wife asked him what was
wrong, and he revealed that the wife had asked him to sing her
husband's favorite song, "Jingle Bells," at the funeral.

He was troubled that it wasn't appropriate to the solemn occasion.
He struggled and prayed about it, and finally decided to honor the
grieving widow's wishes.

At the funeral, still sensitive about how some of the mourners
might react to hearing "Jingle Bells" at a funeral, he carefully
introduced the song with words about appreciating the sense of
humor and lightheartedness of the deceased.

The widow had been very tearful during the service. Hearing the
introduction to her late husband's "favorite song" she sat up and
began to appear quite interested. As the more...