Funny Jokes / Recent Jokes
See Mother. See Mother laugh. Mother is happy. Mother is happy about
Christmas. Mother has many plans. Mother has many plans for Christmas.
Mother is organized. Mother smiles all the time. Funny, funny Mother.
See mother. See mother smile. Mother is happy. The shopping is all done. See
the children watch T.V. Watch children, watch. See the children change their
minds. See them ask Santa for different toys. Look, look, Mother is not
smiling. Funny, funny Mother.
See Mother. See Mother sew. Mother will make dresses. Mother will make
robes. Mother will make shirts. Look... Mother put the zipper in wrong.
See Mother sews the dress on the wrong side. See Mother cut the skirt too
short. See Mother put the material away until January. Look, look, see
Mother take a tranquilizer. Funny, funny Mother.
See Mother. See Mother buy raisins and nuts. See Mother buy candied
pineapple and powdered sugar. See Mother buy flour and dates and pecans more...
Once A man walks into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner shows two beautiful ones out on the floor. This one’s Rs. 100. 00 and the other is Rs. 250. 00.
How much is that 3rd one?
Shop owner – That is for 500. 00.
Why – What’s special in it. Shop owner - Nothing but these two call him Boss.
The girl sitting daintily on the bar stool was luscious, shapely and tempting. Naturally, she aroused the interest of the playboy at the other end of the bar. He smiled at her. Then he winked. When this failed, he tried out his best leer. Just then the bartender-two hundred pounds of muscle with a hairy chest-leaned over the bar and said, "Look, Buster: that there's my wife. So cut the funny business, understand?"
Replied the flustered playboy: "Funny business? I don't know what you're talking about. I just dropped in for a cool drink. Give me a piece of beer."
Pagan Lightbulb Jokes (Okay, this is REALLY vague, but I'm sure some people are going to love it...)
*How many lesbian feminist Dianic Wiccans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one, and it's NOT FUNNY!!!
*How many Dianics does it take to change a light bulb?
(any large number here) -- One to change the light bulb, one to prepare the environmental impact statement, and the rest to do a self-criticism afterwards...
*How many Dianics does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but that bulb has really got to want to change.
*How many years does it take a Dianic Wiccan to change a lightbulb?
You can change it whenever you are empowered to do so.
*How many years does it take a Dianic Wiccan to change a lightbulb?
Not sure.....we'll call Z. Bhudapest and get back to you!
*How many Dianic women does it take to change a lightbulb?
That's W-I-M-M-I-N, more...
He has a one-track mind, and the traffic on it is very light. He paid $500 to have his family tree searched, and found out he was the sap. There are times he has something on his mind - he wears a hat occasionally. His neck reminds you of a typewriter - Underwood. The only time he thinks is in a poolroom, where he can rack his brains. If you want the real dope about anything, go to the real dope - HIM! He bought a topless bathing suit for his half-sister. A traffic judge asked him, "Have you ever been up before me?" And he said, "I don't know, what time do you get up?" Once he saw an old woman fall down, but didn't help her up. His mother warned him against having anything to do with fallen women. He's never bought Christmas seals -says he wouldn't know what to feed them. He carried a double-barreled gun to the ball game, because he heard the Lions were playing the Tigers. He called it quits when his fourth child was born, because he read that every fifth child more...
A surgeon told his patient upon waking up from an operation, I'm afraid we're going to have to operate on you again. I seem to have left my rubber gloves inside.
Well, if it's just for the gloves, I'd rather pay for them and you can leave me intact.