Funny Bumper Stickers Jokes / Recent Jokes
Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object. Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired. Death is Nature's way of saying' slow down'. Don't force it, get a larger hammer. Earn cash in your spare time...blackmail friends. Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them used to reality. Going the speed of light is bad for your age. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Herblock's Law: If it's good, they will stop making it. History does not repeat itself, historians merely repeat each other. It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education. It works better if you plug it in. It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere. Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. Let not the sands of time get in your lunch. Reality is the only obstacle to happiness.
The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I Put it in Reverse? I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower. You have the right to remain silent....Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges. Honk if you love peace and quiet. Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool. A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I love cats...they taste just like chickenLaugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.Jack Kevorkian for White House PhysicianWe are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.Auntie Em: Hate you, Hate Kansas, Taking the dog. -Dorothy.Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.Born Free.. . . . Taxed to DeathThe more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleepMontana --- At least our cows are sane!I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.If you don't like the news, go out and make some.When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.Sorry, I don't date outside my species.I may be fat, but you're ugly - I can lose weight!
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all it's students!According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?Seen on a woman's car: "Men call us birds, we pick up worms"Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.Why is' abbreviation' such a long word?