Garage Jokes / Recent Jokes

A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man. So he dragged the man down the stairs to the garage and put his Wet Willy in a vise. He secured it tightly and removed the handle. Then he picked up a hacksaw.
The man, terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to...to...cut it off, are you???!?"
The husband said, with a gleam of revenge in his eye, "Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire."

A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man.
So he dragged the man down the stairs to the garage and put his...umm...you know...in a vice. He secured it tightly and removed the handle. Then he picked up a hacksaw.
The man, terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to...to...cut it off, are you?!?"
The husband said, with a gleam of revenge in his eye, "Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire."

A little boy and girl are sittin in a sandbox when they both stood up and their pants fell off and they asked each other "whats that" pointing to their private parts. so they ran home and the little boy asked his father what it was and dad answered" thats your truck, try to park it in as many garages as you can." the little girl asked her mother the same question and she said'thats your garage and don't let any boy park his truck their." So the next day the little girl comes running home yelling "mommy, mommy a boy tried to park his truck in my garage so i knocked his wheels off."

It's time once again to consider the candidates for the annual Stella Awards. The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.
The following are this year's candidates:
1. Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a nightclub in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
2. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next-door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might more...

a man goes to a gas station and says weres your petral tanks the guy replies we dont do tha well chek my engine sorry we dont do that well what kind of garage are you an IRA garage well gona blow up my tyres.

One day this little boys mother was about to take a shower and the boy said "
Mommy, Mommy! Can I take one with you?"
The mother said "
Sure, Just dont look down."
The boy said O.K but got in the shower and looked down anyway and said "
Whats that?"
His mom Said thats my garage. The boy asked "
Why do You have a garage?"
The mother said for daddy's limo.
The next day the boy went up to his dad and said Daddy, Daddy canI take a shower with you?
The dad said yhea just don't look down. They got in the shower and the boy looked down. He said Daddy, Daddy what's that. His father answered Thats my limo. Whats it for asked the boy. To park in mommy's garage answered his father.
The next morning as the boys grandma was about to hop in the shower the little boy asked if he could go in with her. She said yes just don't look up. The boy got in and looked up and said Grandma, Grandma What are those? Those are more...

A little girl asks her Mom, "May I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Mom says, "No honey, the dog is in heat." "What's that mean?" asked the child." Go ask your Father. I think he's in the garage". The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, can I take Susie for a walk around the block? I asked Mom but she said the dog was in heat and said I should ask you". Her Dad said, "Bring Susie over here". He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's rear end with it and said, "Ok, you can go now but keep Susie on the leash and only go one time around the block". The little girl leaves and returns a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Her Dad asks, "Where's Susie?" The girl replies, "Susie ran out of gas about halfway down the block -and there's another dog pushing her home!