Garage Jokes / Recent Jokes

A little boy says "mom can I take a shower with you?" She says " yes if you dont look up or down" so they got in the shower and the boy looks up"What are thoughs?" he says "They must be head lights" then he looked down and said"whats that, it must be a garage" The next day the little boy says "daddy can I take a shower with you?" he said "yes but dont look down" so when he got in the shower he looked down. "Whats that? it must be a snake." That night he asked "mommy daddy can i sleep with you?" "they sai "yes but dont look under the covers" so he looked and yelled "Mommy turn on your headlights the snakes going into the garage!!!"

I saw a want ad. Light housekeeping. They said, "Here, change this bulb". I said, "I'll need some friends".

I moved into an all-electric house. I forgot and left the porch light on all day. When I got home the front door wouldn't open.

I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.

I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale."



You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment, and nobody else shows up, and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? I'm like that all the time.

You know how it is when you decide to lie and say the check is in the mail, and then you remember it really is? I'm like that all the time.

I went over to the neighbor's and asked to borrow a cup of salt. "What are you making?" "A salt lick."

There aren't enough days in the weekend.

My friend more...

Little Johnny had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do. The shrink said that, since Christmas was coming up that he should ask Johnny what he wanted Santa to bring him. If he cussed, he should leave a pile of dog shit in place of the gift. Two days before Christmas, Johnny's dad asked Johnny what he wanted. Johnny said, "I want a goddamned teddy-bear laying right fuckin here beside me when I wake-up Christmas morning. Then, when I go downstairs I want to see a motherfuckin' train going around the goddamned tree, and when I go outside I want to see a red-assed fuckin' bike leaning up against the damn garage!"Christmas morning, Little Johnny woke up and rolled over into a big pile of dog shit. Confused, he walked downstairs and saw a bunch of dog shit around the Christmas tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog shit by the garage. When he walked back inside with a curious look on his more...

A little boy and girl where sitting in the sand pit naked. The little girl looks down at the boy and points to his penis and says "What's that?".
"I don't know" says the little boy. He to looks down at the little girl and asks "What's that?"
"I don't know." Says the little girl.
They both went home later on and the little girl says to her mum. "Mummy, what's this?"
The mother replies, "That's your pink garage, and no red Ferrari is allowed to park in there."
The little boy gets home and goes up to his dad and says, "Daddy, what's this?"
The father replies "Why that's your red Ferrari and you can park it in as many pink garage's as you feel like."
The next day the little girl and boy were playing in the sand pit naked again and the little girl ask the little boy "What's that?"
And the little boy says "This is my red Ferrari and I can park it in as many more...

Sardar At The Garage,

Sardaji: Areyoji, Gaadi Bandh Ho Jati Hein, Battery Change Karvani Haein

Mechanic: Battery Charge Karvane Se Faidha Nahi, Ye Garab Ho Ga Ya Hein, Naya Lagana Padtha Hein

Sardarji: Tho Lagaa Do

Mechanic: Exide Lagaa Du?

Sardaji: Kyon, Doosraa Side Tera Baap Lagaayegaa?

A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bed
with another man. (Sounds familiar, right?) So he dragged the man
down the stairs to the garage and put his John Thomas in a vise. He
secured it tightly and removed the handle. Then he picked up a hacksaw.
The man, terrified, screamed, "STOP! STOP! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO.. TO..
CUT IT OFF, ARE YOU???!?"
The husband said, with a gleam of revenge in his eye:
"Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire."

A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man. So he dragged the man down the stairs to the garage and put his Wet Willy in a vise. He secured it tightly and removed the handle. Then he picked up a hacksaw.
The man, terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to.. To.. Cut it off, are you???!?"
The husband said, with a gleam of revenge in his eye, "Nope. You are. *I'm* going to set the garage on fire."