Geese Jokes / Recent Jokes
A group of goose biologists were meeting to brainstorm about the migration tactics of Canada geese. They were particularly interested in applying for a $100, 000 Federal grant to investigate the "V" formation of goose flight. It had been observed that one side of the "V" is always longer than the other side. This group would put together a research proposal to apply for the $100, 000 grant and hopefully find out why this happens. To start off the discussion, Todd, the Consulting Firm Biologist stands up and says in typical consultant fashion, "I say we ask for $200, 000, and attempt to model the wind drag coefficients. We can have our geologists record and map the ground topography and then our staff meteorologists can predict potential updraft currents. Our internal CAD department can then produce 3-d drawings of the predicted wing tip vortices. Then, after several years of study, our in-house publications department could produce a nice thick report full of more...
What is brown and sticky?
A stick.
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
"Unique" up on it.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
"Tame" way.
What do you call a defective boomerang?
A stick.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
He was dead.
Why did the chicken fall out of the tree?
He was stapled to the monkey.
Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree?
Peer pressure.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
FSH.
What do you call a deer with no eye?
No ideer.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter-- he can't come to you anyway.
What do you do with a dog with no legs?
Take him out for a drag.
When geese fly south, why is one side of the V usually longer than the more...
December 14th
Dearest John:
I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a delightful gift. I couldn't have been more surprised.
With dearest love and affection, Agnes
December 15th
Dearest John:
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine, two turtle doves... I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.
All my love, Agnes
December 16th
Dear John:
Oh, aren't you the extravagant one! Now I must protest. I don't deserve such generosity. Three French hens. They are just darling but I must insist... you're just too kind.
Love Agnes
December 17th
Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really! They are beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough? You're being too romantic.
Affectionately, Agnes
December 18th
Dearest John:
What a surprise! Today the postman delivered five golden rings. One for each finger. You're just more...
December 14thDearest John:I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a delightful gift. I couldn't have been more surprised.With dearest love and affection, Agnes
December 15thDearest John:Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine, two turtle doves... I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.All my love, Agnes
December 16thDear John:Oh, aren't you the extravagant one! Now I must protest. I don't deserve such generosity. Three French hens. They are just darling but I must insist... you're just too kind.Love Agnes
December 17thToday the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really! They are beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough? You're being too romantic.Affectionately, Agnes
December 18thDearest John:What a surprise! Today the postman delivered five golden rings. One for each finger. You're just impossible, but I love it. Frankly, John, all those squawking birds were more...