Genesis Jokes / Recent Jokes

A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his community. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he knocked several times. Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back "Revelation 3:20" and stuck it in the door. The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was a notation "Genesis 3:10." Upon opening his Bible to the passage he let out a roar of laughter.Revelation 3:20 reads: (Pastors note) "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come into him, and will dine with him, and he with me."Genesis 3:10 reads: "And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked."

Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours.
-- Deuteronomy (Deuteronomy 21: 11-13)

Find a prostitute and marry her.
-- Hosea (Hosea 1: 1-3)

Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock.
-- Moses (Exodus 2: 16-21)

Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal.
-- Boaz (Ruth 4: 5-10)

Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife.
-- Benjaminites (Judges 21: 19-25)

Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you rib.
-- Adam (Genesis 2: 19-24)

Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marrige. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. (That's right: fourteen years of toil for a more...

A dead-beat Dad died and went to Heaven. He was greeted at the Golden Gate by St. Peter, who warmly shook his hand and asked him to sit down next to him. Looking over the dead-beat Dad's file, St. Peter frowned and shook his head sadly.' 'Your record looks fine, except for one glaring item. Why the hell didn't you pay child support for your six kids?'' The man jumped up.' 'Child support?! All God said in Genesis was' Be fruitful and multiply.' He didn't say nothin' about supporting them!'' St. Peter smirked. That part of Genesis was God's Italian wife's recipe for marinated steak, buddy.' 'Beef, fruit, fuel, and a mallet apply.''