Geordie Jokes

Geordie is in Dublin on Business and takes a Taxi from the Airport to his Hotel in the City Centre.
As they come out of the Airport, the Taxi driver shoots through a red light. "Driver, you could have killed us, you jumped that red light!" shouts Geordie.
"Ah te be sure, my brother and me, we do that all the time" says the cabbie.
A mile down the road and the Taxi driver shoots over another red light.
"Driver, that was another red light!" Screams Geordie.
"Ah to be sure its nothing at all my brother and me, we do it all the time."
They get to the next traffic light. Its green, the Taxi driver stops !
" Driver, its a green light ! Why the hell have you stopped ?" says Geordie.
"Ah to be sure, " Says the Taxi Driver, " my Brother, he might be coming the other way ........"

Geordie is on a weekend stag do with his mates, Jock, Taff and Paddy.
Thay visit a Brothel, the Madam explains that they have a simple pricing system, they charge by the lenght of the penis..£10 per inch.
Meeting up later, Jock brags..... "Och, Best £90 a ever spent"....
Paddy says, Cost me £100....... Taff, not wanting to tell them that he paid only £60 decided to lie " You's all got off lightly I had to pay £125!!!
Geordie pipes up..." Really? It only cost me £15 !
I PAID ON THE WAY OUT "

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Geordie!
Geordie who!
Geordie-rectly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200..!