George Bush Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Force Trainer is a new toy that allows players to use their brain waves to move a ball inside a plastic tube. Today, George Bush returned the toy, claiming it did not work.
President Bush has signed an order asserting the United States' right to deny adversaries access to space for hostile purposes. Bush also said the United States would oppose the development of treaties or other restrictions that seek to prohibit or limit U.S. access to or use of space.
---Hmmmm. We've heard this kind of talk before. Did someone find oil in space? Or has Haliburton developed some space-based item or service they can overcharge the government for in a no-bid contract? I say slow down, Mr. President. You still have plenty of places to attack on earth. Maybe just take a deep breath and rent a copy of "Moonraker" for now.
A rare 1823 copy of the Declaration of Independence sold at auction for $477,650.
It seems like a lot of money just to save an old copy of the Declaration, but it's about the same amount George Bush gets paid each year destroy it.
President Bush, facing a Democratic-controlled Congress for the first time, is urging lawmakers to work with his administration.
"I got some crazy shit planned for 2007 and I'd love for the Dems to get on board", the President announced at a press conference.
Bush's agenda apparently includes following: 1) having the US military invade Antarctica, 2) capital gain tax deductions for "gagillionares, kabillionares and Scrooge McDuck," and 3) outlawing the teaching of evolution, history, biology, math, basket weaving and oddly, scrotum piercing in public schools.
Stress finally getting to Dubya
George Bush rejected a plea from Israel last year to help it raid Iran's main nuclear complex. However, he said he would have supported a raid on Iran's "nucular" complex.
According to a report issued by the Deprtment of Education, 32 million US adults are functionally illiterate. A spokesperson for George Bush said the President has received the report, but he is waiting for an aide to read it to him.
A recent Newsweek poll puts President Bush's approval rating among all Americans at 33%, and a lowly 2% among blacks. Yes, 2%! To put that in perspective, sickle cell anemia is more popular among blacks.