George Bush Jokes / Recent Jokes

US News and World Reports, always on the edge of the politcal beltway, is reporting that Bush loves FART jokes. It gives new meaning to'Cut and Run'. Bush is not only fond of the classic'Pull My Finger' gag but will often greet new interns with a Presidential beefer. To which interns reply, "Well, at least we don't have to blow him."

Remember when you told me to tell you when you're sitting like a girl? You're doing it right now."

"And so one of the areas where I think the average Russian will realize that the stereotypes of America have changed is that it's a spirit of cooperation, not one-upmanship, that we now understand one plus one can equal three, as opposed to us and Russia we hope to be zero." - Crawford, TX, Nov. 15, 2001

September 25 - October 1
"Oh, yeah? Well you're rubber, I'm glue. Everything you say sticks to me and... Crap! I got that backwards again."

-President George W. Bush, responding to Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez calling him the devil.

The White House announced several new appointments on Sept. 5, including "American Idol" winner Clay Aiken to join the President's Committee for People with Intellectual Disabilities.

We're just glad the President has decided to seek help, no matter who it's from.

Doctors found no cancer in the five small growths removed from President Bush’s colon. The polyps were, however, packed with large amounts of bullshit, like “Mission Accomplished,” “We have to fight them over there so we don’t fight them here” and “I do solemnly swear that I will preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”

October 30 - November 5
"Awesome! Nobody showed up for the cabinet meeting. Now I can go play video games."

-President George W. Bush, unaware that the clocks had been turned back.