Ghost Jokes / Recent Jokes

One night Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington's ghost in the White House. "George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Clinton asked."Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," advised George.The next night the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom. "Tom, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Clinton asked."Cut taxes and reduce the size of government," advised Tom.Clinton didn't sleep well the next night, and saw yet another figure moving in the shadows. It was Abraham Lincoln's ghost. "Abe, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Clinton asked. Abe replied, "Go to the theater."

Two baseball players promised each other. If one of them died frist he will come back as a ghost to tell if there was baseball in heaven.
So one of them dies and comes back as a ghost and says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
Then the other persom says,"tell me." so he says,"The good news is there is baseball in heaven but the bad news is that your pitching tomorrow."

Two baseball players promised each other. If one of them died frist he will come back as a ghost to tell if there was baseball in heaven. So one of them dies and comes back as a ghost and says, "I have some good news and some bad news." Then the other persom says,"tell me." so he says,"The good news is there is baseball in heaven but the bad news is that your pitching tomorrow."

There was this haunted house on the outskirts of the town which was avoided by all the townfolk - the ghost which `lived' there was feared by all.

However, an enterprising journalist decided to get the scoop of the day by photographing the fearsome phantom. When he entered the house, armed with only his camera, the ghost descended upon him, clanking chains et al. He told the ghost "I mean no harm - I just want your photograph". The ghost was quite happy at this chance to make the headlines - he posed for a number of ghostly shots.

The happy journalist rushed back to his dark room, and began developing the photos. Unfortunately, they turned out to be black and underexposed.

So what's the moral of the story?

The spirit was willing but the flash was weak.

A ghost sitting on a tree said to his companion " i am just saved" the other ghost asked " why? What happened?" the first
Ghost replied, "i saw a man below the tree, but he did not see me " the other ghost said, “oh! Idiot there is nothing like
Man in this world. It is all our imagination"

A redneck teacher was giving her class a pop quiz about Halloween.
"Have any of you ever seen a ghost?" she asked. Approximately twenty-five percent of the students raised their hand.
"How many of you have actually touched a ghost?" she asked next. This time, ten percent of the class put their hand up.
"Now, how many of you have had sex with a ghost?" she asked. There was dead silence in the class, until one young redneck boy raised his hand.
Startled, the teacher asked, "You've actually had sex with a ghost?"
"Ghost?" the boy replied. "Oh, sorry, I thought you said goat."

Two drunks staggering home one night and one decides to take a shortcut through the cemetery.

Half way through an apparition appears. "What's that on your back?" the ghost asks.

"It's a hump" says the drunk The ghost puts his hand on the drunk's back and the hump disappears.

He races home and next night at the pub he tells his mate all about it.

His mate is amazed and says he is going through the cemetery that night because he has a wooden leg and wants a proper leg.

Again half way through the cemetery a ghost appears... "What's wrong with your leg?" he asks.

"It's a wooden leg," says the drunk.

"Have you got a Hump?" asks the ghost.

"No" replies the drunk.

So the ghost puts his hand on the drunk's back and says, "Here, you can have this one."