Ghost Jokes / Recent Jokes
A witch joke
What name did the witch give to her cooking pot?
It was called-Ron!
A vampire joke
When do vampires bite you?
On wincedays!
A witch joke
What is a witch with poison ivy called?
An itchy witchy!
A Halloween joke
A boy went to a Halloween party with a sheet on his head. “Are you a ghost?
” asked his friends “No, I’m an unmade bed!
” A cannibal joke
What’s the definition of a cannibal?
Some who goes into a restaurant and orders a waiter!
A ghost joke
Why are cemeteries in the middle of towns?
Because they’re dead centres!
A witch joke
What is a witches favourite book?
Broom at the top!
What’s invisible & smells like carrots?
Bunny Farts!
A ghost joke
This woman wanted to marry a ghost. I don’t know what possessed her!
A witch joke
Have you heard about the good weather witch?
She’s forecasting sunny spells!
A cannibal joke
Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village?
Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!
A witch joke
How do witches tell the time?
By looking at their witch watches!
A vampire joke
What was the Californian vampire hippy like?
He was ghoul man, real ghoul!
A witch joke
What happens if you see twin witches?
You won’t be able to see which witch is witch!
A Halloween joke
Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween?
It was for “tick or tweet”!
An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he figured that the latest episode was just that, so he stayed put.
Suddenly, however, he filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.
In a complete loss of composure, he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. The drunk started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently, in an attempt to free himself of the sheets. He ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
As the drunk stood there, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard who had witnessed the entire incident, walked up to him and asked, what the hell is going on?
The drunk, still staring down at the sheets, replied, I think I just more...
A ghost joke
What happened when the ghost asked for a whiskey at his local bar?
The bartender said “Sorry sir, we don’t serve spirits here”!
A cannibal joke
Why did the cannibal live on his own?
He was fed up with other people!
A witch joke
What’s the witches favourite pop group?
Broomski Beat!
A Halloween joke
What happened when the girl dressed as a spoon left the Halloween party?
No one moved, they couldn’t stir without her!
A witch joke
What is evil and ugly on the inside and green on the outside?
A witch dressed as a cucumber!
A vampire joke
Why does Dracula have no friends?
Because he’s a pain in the neck!
A witch joke
How can you tell when a witch is really ugly?
When a wasp stings her it closes his eyes!
One night Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington's ghost in the White House. "George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Clinton asked. "Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," advised George. The next night the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom. "Tom, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Clinton asked. "Cut taxes and reduce the size of government," advised Tom. Clinton didn't sleep well the next night, and saw yet another figure moving in the shadows. It was Abraham Lincoln's ghost. "Abe, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Clinton asked. Abe replied, "Go to the theater."
Three boys were walking along the beach one day when they see a cave. The first boy goes in and is looking at a banknote on a big rock when a ghostly voice calls out' ' I am the ghost of Auntie Abel and this five dollars stays on the table!'' The second boy goes in and is reaching for the money when the same thing happens again. The third boy goes in, sees the five dollars and cries out,''I am the ghost of David Crockett and this five dollars goes in my pocket!''
one day the mom went down stairs to get the babys bottel.and their sat a ghost it said im the ghost ill give you one black eye.so the mom went up stairs and got dad.so dad went down stairs to get the babys bottel.and the ghost said im the ghost ill give you one black eye.so the dad went up stairs and got sister.so sister went down stairs to get the babys bottel . and the ghost said im the ghost ill give you one black eye.so sister went up stairs to get brother.so brother went down stairs to get the babys bottel.and the ghost said im the ghost ill give you one black eye.so brother went up stairs to tell baby to get his own bottel.and he did and the ghost said im the ghost ill give you one black eye.and the baby said shutup or ill give you two black eyes.