Goat Jokes / Recent Jokes

A pair of tourists were out in the fields when they discovered an abandoned well near an old farm house. Of course theyre curious so they drop a small stone into the well, but they never hear it hit bottom. They search and find a larger rock and drop it into the well but once again hear nothing. They decide they need something larger and search the farm yard for a larger object. After much struggle, they manage to drag a large railroad tie to the edge of the well and drop it over the edge. After several seconds, a goat tears across the yard and without any hesitation, dives head first into the open hole. The two tourists stand in amazement. About then a farmer appears and tells them he is looking for a lost goat. The tourists tell the farmer about the goat diving into the well."That couldnt be my goat", the farmer replies, "My goat was grazing in the field roped to a railroa d tie!"

The Teacher asked, "All right children, who can tell me what a
chicken gives?"
Mary answered, "A chicken gives eggs!"
The Teacher then asked, "Now who can tell me what a goat
gives?"
And Paul answered, "A goat gives goat milk!"
And finally the Teacher asked, "Well now, who can tell me what
the cow gives?"
And Little Johnny replied, "Fucking homework and tests!"

Two guys are walking through the woods and come across a big deep hole.

"Wow...that looks deep." "Sure does... toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is."

They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait... no noise.

"Jeeez. That is REALLY deep... here.. throw one of these great big rocks down there. Those should make a noise."

They pick up a couple football-sized rocks and toss them into the hole and wait... and wait. Nothing.

They look at each other in amazement. One guy gets a determined look on his face and says, "Hey...over here in the weeds, there's a railroad tie. Help me carry it over here. When we toss THAT sucker in, it's GOTTA make some noise."

The two drag the heavy tie over to the hole and heave it in. Not a sound comes from the hole.

Suddenly, out of the nearby woods, a goat appears, running like the wind. It rushes toward the two men, then more...

There were these two guys out hiking when they came upon an old,
abandoned mine shaft. Curious about its depth they threw in a pebble
and waited for the sound of it striking the bottom, but they heard
nothing. They went and got a bigger rock, threw it in and waited.
Still nothing. They searched the area for something larger and came
upon a railroad tie. With great difficulty, the two men carried it to
the opening and threw it in. While waiting for it to hit bottom, a goat
suddenly darted between them and leapt into the hole!
The guys were still standing there with astonished looks upon their
faces from the actions of the goat when a man walked up to them. He
asked them if they had seen a goat anywhere in the area and they said
that one had just jumped into the mine shaft in front of them! The man
replied, "Oh no. That couldn't be *my* goat, mine was tied to a
railroad tie."

A fierce gust of wind blew 45-year-old Vittorio Luise's car into a river near Naples, Italy, in 1983. He managed to break a window, climb out and swim to shore -- where a tree blew over and killed him.

Mike Stewart, 31, of Dallas was filming a movie in 1983 on the dangers of low-level bridges when the truck he was standing on passed under a low-level bridge -- killing him.

Walter Hallas, a 26-year-old store clerk in Leeds, England, was so afraid of dentists that in 1979 he asked a fellow worker to try to cure his toothache by punching him in the jaw. The punch caused Hallas to fall down, hitting his head, and he died of a fractured skull.

Two West German motorists had an all-too-literal head-on collision in heavy fog near the small town of Guetersloh. Each was guiding his car at a snail's pace near the center of the road. At the moment of impact their heads were both out of the windows when they smacked together. Both men were hospitalized with severe more...

A man his dog and his goat got trapped on a deserted island after been ship recked. Days passed and the olny thing to eat on the island was peanuts.The man suddenly felt the urge for sex and had no one to turn to but the goat, every time he made an attempt towards the goat the dog would scare in off no one day a aeroplane crasched near by and he rushed over to the reckage to find a beautiful blond she was so greatful for life that she told the man you can have anything you want from me just name it, the man replied lady all i want you to do is hold that dog so that i can f@#* the goat

Two goats wandered into the junkyard and had a field day. One of them spent a particularly long time bent over a spool of film. When he was finished, the other goat came over. "So, did you enjoy the film?"
The goat replied, "To tell you the truth, I liked the book better."