Gopher Jokes

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Gopher!
Gopher who!
Gopher a long walk off a short pier! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Gopher!
Gopher who!
Gopher your gun, Sheriff! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Gopher!
Gopher who!
Gopher broke!

A South African man has just broken the world record for the longest sustained "hard on". The old record of 17 days was smashed, when the man injected himself with Caverjet, a medication to fight erectile disfunction. The formula didn't mix to well with his bodybuilding steriods, and he wound up in a Johannesburg hospital with a 22 day boner.

A chinese restaurant owner, famous for his snake dishes was killed by two reptiles he had just decapitated. The serpents freshly severed heads were left on the kitchen bench, and as the man went to pick them up, both sank their fangs into his hands, and with their deadly venom, killed him.

3 janitors tried to get rid of a gopher at a school in California by trying to spray it to death with a solvent used to freeze chewing gum, so you can pick it up. The men used several cans to pursue the gopher, but to no avail, until one lit up a cigarette, which then blew the janitors out the room, hospitalised them and 16 more...

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Gopher!
Gopher who!
Gopher broke!

A group of friends who prided themselves on their intelligence set out to have a contest of wits. Each person in turn asked a question and anyone who volunteered an answer that was wrong dropped out. If no one could answer, the questioner himself had to answer, and if he was wrong, he dropped out.

Each dropout had to put $5 into the pot.

Eventually the matter boiled down to Thompson and Brown, and the erudition of each one boiled up so that both were held even for half an hour.

Finally Thompson said, "How does a gopher dig a hole without leaving a mound of dirt at the lip?"

Brown thought about that and said, "I can't answer that. However, since it's your question, you had better answer it."

Thompson said coolly, as he reached for the accumulated pile of bills. "Easy. The gopher starts at the bottom of the hole and that's where he leaves the dirt."

"Hold on," said Brown heatedly, more...

A group of friends who prided themselves on their IQ (maybe MENSA members) set out to have a contest of wits. Each person in turn
asked a question and anyone who volunteered an answer that was wrong dropped out. If no one could answer, the questioner himself had to answer and if he was wrong, he dropped out. Each dropout had to put $5 into the pot.Eventually the contenders left were Thompson and Brown, matching erudition for erudition for a good half hour.Finally Thompson said, "How does a gopher dig a hole without leaving a mound of sand at the lip?"Brown thought about that and said, "I can't answer that. However, since it's your question, you had better answer it."Thompson said coolly, as he reached for the accumulated pile of bills, "Easy. The gopher starts at the bottom of the hole and that's where he leaves the sand.""Hold on," said Brown heatedly, grasping Thompson's wrist to prevent him from taking the pot. "How does the gopher more...