Gore Jokes / Recent Jokes

Before the books were published, readers suggested titles for Monica's tell-all book:

* Me and My Big Mouth
* What Really Goes Down In The White House
* You Have to Work Hard to Find the Softer Side of the President
* How I Blew It In Washington
* Testing the Limits of the Gag Rule
* Going Back for Gore
* Secret Services to the President
* Harass is Not Two Words: The Story of Bill Clinton
* The Congressional Study on White House Intern Positions
* She's Chief of MY Staff!
* Al Gore Is In Command For The Next 30 Minutes
* Going Down and Moving Up
* Members of the Presidential Cabinet
* How To Get A head in Business
* I Wore What You Did Last Summer

On Sunday, Al Gore said he hasn't ruled out another Presidential bid.
"We have," replied America.

"Whenever
I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over
the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to
be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and
death and stuff." -Mariah Carey
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost
a very important part of your life," -Brooke
Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson
for federal anti-smoking campaign.
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other
part of my body," -Winston Bennett, University
of Kentucky basketball forward.
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one
of the lowest crime rates in the country," -Mayor
Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing
through our papers. We are the president." -Hillary
Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
-Philadelphia more...

ONe day, Al Gore, George W and Raplph Nader were eating lunch at a resturatunt.
They paid the check, then went to the bathroom.
On their way in, an attendant told them that the mirror in the bathroom would hold you until you said something if you looked at it, and if you told the truth you would get a billion dollars. But if you lied, youd be trapped in the mirror forever.
Ralph finished first, and looked at the mirror. Trapped, he said "i think i am the smartest one in this bathroom" and he got a billion dollars. Then Al Gore looked at the mirror and said, "i think i have the biggest ego in this bathroom" and he got a billion dollars. Then George looked at the mirror and siad, "i think-" and FWOOSH! he was trapped in the mirror.

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk he offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is?
"Billy."
"And what is your question, Billy?"
"I have 3 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? And third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?"
Just then the bell rings for recess.
George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh that's right - question time. Who has a question?"
Another little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him what his name is.
"Steve"
"And what is your question, Steve?"
"I have 5 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore more...

Bill, Hillary and Vice President Gore were on their way back to Washington on Air Force One, when Bill said " I'd like to drop a $100 bill out of the plane and make one person very happy".
Hillary thought for a moment then replied "I`d rather drop ten, $10 bills out and make ten people very happy".
To which Vice President Gore said " I would drop a hundred $1 bills out and make a hundred people very happy".

The pilot then spoke up and said " Why don't all three of you jump out and make 250 million people very happy?"

With Holloween coming this weekend, I figured I'd get my part started right with...
93-year-old Senator Strom Thurmond "dressed" as Tarzan wearing a Medicare badge.
A tobacco lobbyist dressed as a beggar ("There goes your campaign financing, Congressman").
Al Gore Disco Fever costume.
Attorney General Janet Reno dressed as Charles Manson.
Evil British nanny.
Flaming Tofu Burrito from Hell on a Stick.
Guy who ate too much Olestra.
Hillary Clinton dressed as Madonna dressed as Evita.
Jacko-Lantern.
Janet Reno's Little French Maid Outfit.
Marge Schott's less attractive, slightly more racist sister
Marv Albert, Warrior Princess.
Mighty Menstruatin' Power Ranger.
Pat Buchanan dressed as Detective Mark Fuhrman.
Positive Home Pregnancy Test.
President Jesse Helms.
Ralph Nader dressed as, well, Ralph Nader.
Redskins quarterback Gus Ferrotte dressed as Jack Kemp.
Representative Newt Gingrich dressed more...