Gore Jokes / Recent Jokes

President Clinton decided to buy a puppy as a present for Hillary. He snuck the puppy under his coat into the White House and as he was walking down one of the halls he comes upon Al Gore. Clinton could not hold back his joy and shared his surprise with the Vice President.
"Look what I got for Hillary!" exclaims Clinton, holding up the puppy.
Al Gore stares for a moment, then his eyes brighten up as he says, "Nice trade, sir!"

Can we count them with our nose?
Can we count them with our toes?
Should we count them with a band?
Should we count them all by hand?
If I do not like the count,
I will simply throw them out.
I will not let this vote count stand.
I do not like them, AL GORE I am!
Can we change these numbers here?
Can we change them, calm my fears?
What do you mean, Dubya has won?
This is not fair, this is not fun.
Let's count them upside down this time.
Let's count until the state is mine.
I will not let this vote count stand.
I do not like it, AL GORE I am!
I'm really ticked, I'm in a snit.
You have not heard the last of it.
I'll count the ballots one by one.
And hold each one up to the sun.
I'll count, recount, and count some more.
You'll grow to hate this little chore.
But I will not, cannot let this vote count stand.
I do not like it, Al Gore I am!
I won't leave office, I'm stayin' here.
I've glued more...

* "I Suck At My Job"
* "What Really Goes Down In The White House"
* "How I Blew It In Washington"
* "Work Hard to Find the Softer Side of the President"
* "Clear and Present Boner"
* "Testing the Limits of the Gag Rule"
* "Going Back for Gore"
* "Podium Girl" * "Secret Services to the President"
* "Harass is Not Two Words: The Story of Bill Clinton"
* "Deep Inside The Oval Office"
* "The Congressional Study on White House Intern Positions"
* "My Chief of Staff"
* "Al Gore Is In Command For The Next 30 Minutes"
* "How To Beat Off the Government"
* "Going Down and Moving Up"
* "Members of the Cabinet"
* "Me and My Big Mouth"
* "How To Get A Head in Business"

Can we count them with our nose? Can we count them with our toes? Should we count them with a band? Should we count them all by hand? If I do not like the count, I will simply throw them out.I will not let this vote count stand.I do not like them, AL GORE I am! Can we change these numbers here? Can we change them, calm my fears? What do you mean, Dubya has won? This is not fair, this is not fun.Let's count them upside down this time.Let's count until the state is mine.I will not let this vote count stand.I do not like it, AL GORE I am! I'm really ticked, I'm in a snit.You have not heard the last of it.I'll count the ballots one by one.And hold each one up to the sun.I'll count, recount, and count some more.You'll grow to hate this little chore.But I will not, cannot let this vote count stand.I do not like it, Al Gore I am! I won't leave office, I'm stayin' here.I've glued my desk chair to my rear.Tipper, Hillary, and Bubba, too, all telling me that I should sue.We find the Electoral more...

In a bi-partisan move, President Bush has nominated Dr. Hannibal Lecter as his candidate for US Surgeon General.
"I think Dr. Lecter will serve with pride, fava beans, and a nice Chianti," Bush announced.
In another announcement, Special Agent Clarice Starling will become the new FBI director. She's expected to work closely with the new Surgeon General on a case concerning missing former Vice President Al Gore. President Bush had recently arranged a meeting between Gore and Lecter.
Lecter was the last person to see Gore before Gore's sudden disappearance in early January. Lecter noted that he, "enjoyed having Gore for dinner," but was upset at how Gore, or, rather the *subject* of Gore kept "coming up." "I'm sick to my stomach over this," Lecter said.
President Bush didn't seem concerned with the disappearance of his rival for the office. "I think it's all crap by now, don't you?"

Bill Clinton, Al Gore and Bill Gates are riding in a car (never mind why). The car crashes into a tree and all three are instantly killed. The three end up in heaven standing at the base of God's throne. God looks at Gore. "What do you believe?" he asks. Gore answers, "Well, I believe the internal combustion engine is the root of all evil, and that we need to save the world from CFC's, and that if any more freon is used, the whole Earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die." God says, "OK, Come sit at my left." God looks at Clinton. "What do you believe?" he asks. Clinton answers, "I believe in power to the people. I think people should be able to make their own decisions without anyone telling them what to do." God says, "OK, Come sit at my right." God looks at Gates. "What do you believe?" he asks. "I believe," says Gates, "You are in my chair."

Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed.
Now they're in heaven, and God is sitting on the great golden throne.
God addresses Al first. "Al, what do you believe in?"
Al replies, "Well, I believe that the internal combustion Engine is the root of all evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die."
God thinks for a second and says, "Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left."
God then addresses Bill Clinton. "Bill, what do you believe in?"
Bill Clinton replies, "Well, I believe in power to the people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things, and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people's pain, but not inhaling."
God thinks for a second and says, "Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit more...