Gore Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q. What do you call Al Gore and George W. Bush in the front seat of a car?
A. Dual airbags!
Air Force One, the jet that carries the President, was on it's way to a summit meeting in Washington, DC on the status of the Internet.
On board were Bill Clinton, Al Gore and Bill Gates. Halfway to DC, the plane suddenly crashed and all on board died instantly. Up in Heaven, God sat upon a large throne and looked down to pass judgement on the three men.
'Bill Clinton', God said,' What do you believe in?'
Clinton replied,' I believe in freedom of speech, in music and in serving the public.'
'Very well,' God said,' You may enter Heaven, Mr. Clinton.'
Al Gore stepped up.' Mr. Gore, what do you believe in?', God asked.
'I believe in saving the environment, I believe in fresh air and trees and I did everything I could to ensure that our children would inherit a clean environment.' Al said.
'Very well,' God said,' You may enter Heaven, Mr. Gore.'
Bill Gates stepped up.' Mr. Gates,' God said,' What do more...
Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch. As they read the menu, the waitress comes over and asks Clinton,"Are you ready to order?" Clinton replies, "Yes, I'd like aquickie!""A quickie?!?" the waitress replies. "Sir, given the pastsituation of your personal life I don't think that is a good idea. I'll come back when you are ready to order from the menu!" She walksaway. Gore leans over to Clinton and says, "It's pronounced Quiche."
Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks atAl, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100. 00 billout the window right now and make one person very happy."Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I couldthrow ten $10. 00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy." Hillary tosses her perfectly hair-sprayed hair and says, "Icould throw one hundred $1. 00 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "Icould throw all three of you out the window and make the whole country happy."
At an outdoor press conference, Al Gore was addressing harsh criticism of being "lifeless as a statue.""That is absurd," Gore stoically stated. "When elected, the people of America will see just how passionate and alive I truly am."Embarrassed for her husband, Tipper, leaned in to whisper, "Honey, you have a pigeon on your head."
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest. "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff,"
- Mariah Carey "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign."I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward."Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
- Mayor more...
Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch. As they read the menu the waitress comes over and askes Clinton,"Are you ready to order?"Clinton replies, "Yes, Id like a quickie.""A quickie?!?" the waitress replies. "Sir, given the currentsituation of your personal life I dont think that is a good idea. Ill come back when you are ready to order from the menu."She walks away. Gore leans over to Clinton and says, "Its pronounced Quiche."