Granted Jokes / Recent Jokes

ok. there where three girls stranded on an island. a blonde, brunette and a red head. when all of a sudden they find a jeany bottle then puff out coes the jeany, and he says, u get 3 wishes and because there are 3 of u u each get 1 wish. so he first asked the brunette, she said " i miss my friends and family, so i wish i could go home, and puff her wish was granted. the he asked the red head, she missed her friends and family to so she wished to go home and her wish was granted, the the jeany turns around and saw the blonde girl crying and said " why what could ever be the matter" and she said i miss my friends i wish they where still here with me and puff her wish was his comand and the blonde brunette and the red head where all back on the island. by penne

Two workers and their boss were walking along a road. Suddenly, one of them saw a lamp. He picked it up, rubbed it, and a genie popped out.
"Normally, I would give one person three wishes," the genie said, "but since there are three of you, I will give each of you one wish."
The first worker said, "I wish I was the ruler of a different country."
***POOF*** His wish was granted.
The second worker said, "I wish I had a free holiday in Hawaii with my family."
***POOF*** His wish was granted.
The boss said, "I'm lonely... I wish those two were back before lunch."
The moral of the story is... Always let your boss have the first say.

A rich husband runs out on his wife to go out with a younger lady (tramp).The husband refuses to pay child support.One day the wife is cleaning and a genie appears.
"I will grant you three wishes." The genie says."As a bonus your husband gets double whatever you get." "But I dont like my husband."The wife protests.
"To bad the rules are made now."The genie answers.
"Ok, well I wish for 10 million dollars."The lady says.
"Granted."
"Does that mean my husband gets 20 million."
"Yes Im afraid so."
"Ok, well I wish I had a diamond necklace."
"Granted."
So the tramp gets two necklaces.
"I have one wish left dont I?"
"Yes."
"Ok, for my last wish.. beat me half to death."
A few weeks later she gets a huge inheritence of money...
~Julie J.~

theres a blonde a burnette and a redhead they are trapped on an island. they find a magic lamp so they rub it they get 3 wishes. the redhead wishes to go home to her friends and poof she goes home. then the burnette wishes to go home to her family and her wish is granted. the blonde is sitting there and she gets bored so she wishes her friends back and her wish is granted.

One evening after attending a concert, two men were walking down the road when they saw a well-dressed and attractive looking woman walking ahead of them. One of the men turned to the other and said, "I'd give 50 bucks to spend the night with her." To their surprise the woman overheard the remark. Turning round she said, "I'll take you up on that." She had good appearance and a nice body, so after bidding his companion 'good night', he followed her back to her apartment and they went straight to bed. The following morning the man presented her with 25.00. She demanded the rest of her money."If you don't give me the remaining $25 I'll sue you for it." He laughed, saying, "I'd like to see you get it on those grounds!" The next day, he was surprised to receive a summons ordering his appearance in Court as Defendant in a lawsuit. He rushed to his atorney and explained the circumstances to him. His atorney said, "She can't possibly get a more...

One evening after attending the theatre, two gentlemen were walking down the street when they observed a well dressed, attractive young lady walking just ahead of them. One turned to the other and said, "I'd give fifty bucks to spend the night with that woman."
To their surprise the woman turned and said, "I'll take you up on that."
She had a neat appearance and a pleasant voice, so after bidding his friend goodnight, the man accompanied the lady to her apartment, where they immediately went to bed.
The following morning the man presented her with twenty-five dollars as he prepared to leave. She demanded the rest of the money, stating, "If you don't give me the other twenty-five dollars I'll sue you for it."
He laughed, saying, "I'd like to see you get it on these grounds."
The next day he was surprised when served with a summons ordering his presence in court as defendant. He hurried to his lawyer and explained the details more...

An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Polak were captured by the Germans and thrown into prison. However, the guard was rather kind towards them, and said, "I am going to lock you away for five years, but I'll let you have anything you want now before I lock you away."
The Englishman says, "I'll have five years' supply of beer!" His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his beer.
The Frenchman says, "I'll have five years' supply of brandy!" His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his brandy.
The Polak says, "I'll have five years' supply of cigarettes!" His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his cigarettes.
Five years later, the Germans come to release their prisoners. First, they release the Englishman, who staggers out totally drunk. Then, they release the Frenchman, who also rolls out rather drunk.
Finally, they release the Polak, who comes out and says, "Has anyone got a light?"