Guesses Jokes

Two Alabamans are walking down different ends of a street toward each other, and one is carrying a sack.

When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, what'cha got in the bag?" "Jus' some chickens."

"If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?"

"Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them."
"OK. Ummmmm. . . five?"

Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish yourself as an expert.

Two rednecks pull in at a gas station to fill up their truck and notice a sign that reads, "Enter here for a chance at free sex." They wander inside and ask the attendant how to enter. The attendant tells them that they have to guess a number between one and ten.
The first redneck guesses three. The attendant says, "Sorry, but the number is seven."
The second redneck guesses six and the attendant says, "Sorry, but the number is four."
As the two of them are driving away, one turns to the other and says, "You know, I think that contest was rigged."
"Naw, it's on the up and up," the other one replies. "My wife won three times last week."

Two Mississippians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?"
"Jus' some chickens."
"If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?"
"Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them."
"OK. Ummmmm. . . five?"

One of the bachelors in the apartment development sneaked upbehind an older woman, covered her eyes with his hands, and said, "I'mgoing to kiss you if you can't tell me who I am in three guesses." She quickly answered, "George Washington! Thomas Jefferson! Abraham Lincoln!"