Hail Jokes / Recent Jokes

In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the minister. The minister asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me? I really have to go to the bathroom and the Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on and on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done just give her 10 Hail Mary's and I'll be right back."
Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed. Just as expected the Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession. "Oh Father, I have truly sinned, I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex."
Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation. Surely 10 Hail Mary's would not do. So, in a moment of desperation the janitor peered his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does the minister give for oral sex?"
The altar boy said, "a Snickers bar and more...

There was a guy who wanted to teach his horse how to listen to him. So he took him to a horse breeder and paid 75$ for him to teach him how to do some stuff. The guy who he paid was a priest and he said priestwords to the horse. So one week after he dropped the horsse off, he came back and wanted to see if his horse had improved. The priest said, "
When you want him to go, you have to say "
praise the lord"
, and when you want him to stop, "
you have to say "
hail mary."
So he got on the horse and tried it out. He yelled praise the lord and the horse took off running. He was very impressed with the horse. He loked behind him to see how far he had gone and when he looked forward again he saw that he was coming up on a cliff. He forgot the word to stop and he started yelling out things like, Hail Sheryl and Hail John, and then he finally remembered and yelled Hail Mary. The horse stopped right on the edge of the cliff. The guy more...

Tommy O'Connor went to confession and said, "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
"What have you done Tommy O'Connor?"
"I had sex with a girl."
"Who was it, Tommy?"
"I cannot tell you father, please forgive me for my sin."
"Was it Mary Margaret Sullivan?"
"No father, please forgive me for my sin but I cannot tell you who it was."
"Was it Catherine Mary McKenzie?"
"No father, please forgive me for my sin."
"Well then it has to be, Sarah Martha O'Keefe."
"No father, please forgive me, I cannot tell you who it was."
"Okay, Tommy go say 5 Hail Mary's and 4 Our Fathers and you will be abolished of your sin."
So Tommy walked out to the pews where his friend Joseph was waiting. "What did ya get?" asked Joseph.
"Well I got 5 hail Mary's, 4 Our Fathers, and 3 good leads."

A priest getting ready to hear confessions duddenly realized that he desparately had to go to the bathroom. He looked outside the confessional and saw the janitor walking by.
He pulled him aside and said: "Look, I really gotta go to the bathroom, but people are lining up for confession. Could you take over for a few minutes?" The janitor began to protest, but the priest said: "Look, its easy. I have the sins and give them penance. No one will know it's you in there" The janitor agreed and took his place in the confessional.
The first parishioner entered the confessional and began "Bless me father, for I have sinned. I have commited adultery." The janitor looked on the chart and found "Adultery - 20 Hail Mary". He mumbled some forgiveness sounding words and told the parishioner to say 20 Hail Marys. The parishioner thanked him and left. The janitor breathed a sign of relief.
The second parishioner entered the confessional and began more...

What did the hail storm say to the roof?-Hang onto your shingles, this will be no ordinary sprinkles

Tommy O'Connor went to confession and said, "Forgive me Father for I have sinned"...
"What have you done Tommy O'Connor" said the Priest. "I had sex with a girl"
"Who was it Tommy?" "I cannot tell you Father, please forgive me for my sin."
"Was it Mary Margaret Sullivan?" "No Father, please forgive me for my sin."
"Was it Catherine Mary McKenzie?" "No Father, I cannot tell you, please forgive me."
"Well then, was it Sarah Martha O'Keefe?" "No Father, I cannot tell you who it was." "Okay Tommy, go say 5 Hail Marys and 4 Our Fathers and you will be forgiven."
So Tommy walked out to the pew where his friend Joseph was waiting... "What did you get?" asked Joseph. "Well, I got 5 Hail Marys, 4 Our Fathers, and 3 good leads!"

Tommy O'Connor went to confession and said, "Forgive me Father for I have sinned"... "What have you done Tommy O'Connor" said the Priest. "I had sex with a girl""Who was it Tommy?" "I cannot tell you Father, please forgive me for my sin.""Was it Mary Margaret Sullivan?" "No Father, please forgive me for my sin.""Was it Catherine Mary McKenzie?" "No Father, I cannot tell you, please forgive me.""Well then, was it Sarah Martha O'Keefe?" "No Father, I cannot tell you who it was." "Okay Tommy, go say 5 Hail Marys and 4 Our Fathers and you will be forgiven."So Tommy walked out to the pew where his friend Joseph was waiting... "What did you get?" asked Joseph. "Well, I got 5 Hail Marys, 4 Our Fathers, and 3 good leads!"