Hanging Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart aleck Tex," said the first. "He`s going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back.""Not Tex," the second cowboy replied. "He`ll always be just a good ol` boy. When he walks in, I`m sure all he`ll say is hello.""I know Tex better than either of you," said the third. "He`s so smart, he`ll figure out a way to do both. Here he comes now." Tex swung open the bunkhouse door and shouted, "Audi, partners!"

A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with a very shear blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just pitched a fit, telling her not to go out like that!

The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show!" and out she goes.

The next day the teenager comes downstairs and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die. She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate....

The grandmother says. "Loosen up, Sweetie. If you can show off your rosebuds, then I can display my hanging baskets."

Happy Gardening.

An elderly couple is vacationing in the City of Colombo. Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly.
Upon arriving home, he walks into their room and says to his wife, "Notice anything different, Bessie?" Bessie looks him over, "Nope." Sam says excitedly, "Come on, Bessie, take a good look. Notice anything different about me?" Bessie looks again, "Nope."
Frustrated, Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for his boots. Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT?" Bessie looks up and says, "Sam, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."
Furious, Sam yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT IS HANGING DOWN, BESSIE? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW more...

A little girl walks into her parents' bathroom and notices for the first time, her father's nakedness.
Immediately, she is curious: he has equipment that she doesn't have. She asks, "What are those round things hanging there, daddy?"
Proudly, he replies, "Those, sweetheart, are God's Apples of Life.
Without them we wouldn't be here."
Puzzled, she seeks her mommy out and tells her what daddy has said.
To which mommy asks, "Did he say anything about the dead branch they're hanging from?.

A man walks into a bar, he sees two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the barman, "Why are those two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling?"
The barman replies, "It's a competition which we run every night. If you can jump up and touch the meat, you get free drinks for the whole night."
"Great!" says the man, "but what if I can't reach them?"
"Then you have to buy all the drinks for everyone all night," the barman answers. "Do you want to try?"
"No, but thanks anyway."
"Why not?", asks the barman.
"The steaks are too high."

A drunk is staggering down the street with his car keys in his hand, and his member hanging out when he sees a cop. He says, "Officer, Officer somebody stole my car," gesturing with his keys. The officer says, "Where did you have it?" The drunk says, "On the end of this key." The policeman notices that the drunk's member is hanging out and tells him, "Sir, are you aware that you are exposing yourself?" The drunk looks down and sees his tool protruding from his pants zipper and says, "Shee-it! They got my girlfriend too."

There were nine blondes and a brunette hanging of a rope 100 stories high. They had decided that one of them had to get off.They argued and argued and finally the brunette said ''I'll go.'' The brunette made a touching speech and all the blondes clapped.