Hanging Jokes / Recent Jokes
There was this blonde and she had just found out that her boyfriend had been cheating on her with her best friend and the rest of her school day wasnt going to well either so she says to her self "ugh my boyfriend just broke up with me, everything is going bad in my life and i have no reason to live i want to hang myself" so she goes home and finds a rope and she hangs herself from the porch well some guy walks by and sees her hanging off the porch by a rope and he asks her "what the hell are u doing?" and she tells him "ugh my boyfriend just broke up with me, everything is going bad in my life and i have no reason to live so im hanging my self" well he asks "why are u hanging from your waist arent u suppose to hang yourself from your throat" and the blonde says " i tried that but i couldnt breathe!"
Grandpa is running around in the nursing home with his privates hanging out of his pants screaming: "My penis just died, my penis just died!"
The nurses calm him down, and he goes back to his room. The next day, grandpa is running around again with his privates hanging out, so the nurse asks him: "I thought you said yesterday that your penis died. What happened?"
Grandpa replies: "Yes, it did... but today is the viewing!"
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out.
A policeman approaches her and says, “Ma’am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure? ”
She says, “Why, officer? ”
“Because your breast is hanging out. ”
She looks down and says, “OH MY GOODNESS! I left the baby on the bus again! ”
What do you get hanging from Father Christmas' roof? Tired arms!
An old man, Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of his life in a nursing home.
One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked if there was anything wrong.
"Yes, Nurse Tracy," said Mr. Goldstein, "My Private Part died today, and I am very sad."
Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Goldstein, please accept my condolences.
The following day, Mr. Goldstein was walking down the hall with his Private Part hanging out his pyjamas, when he met Nurse Tracy.
"Mr. Goldstein," she said, "You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that.. Please put your Private Part back inside your pyjamas."
But, Nurse Tracy," replied Mr. Goldstein, "I told you yesterday that my Private Part died."
"Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your more...
What do you call 2 scotsmen hanging from a washing line? A pair of tights.
Grandpa is running around in the nursing home with his privates hanging out of his pants screaming: "My penis just died, my penis just died!"The nurses calm him down, and he goes back to his room. The next day, grandpa is running around again with his privates hanging out, so the nurse asks him: "I thought you said yesterday that your penis died. What happened?"Grandpa replies: "Yes, it did... but today is the viewing!"