Hanging Jokes / Recent Jokes

A handsome mid-age couple, John and Gail, like living in Texas. Even though they have lived in Texas most of their married life John never
had a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale at Sheplers one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into the house and says to his wife: "Notice anything different about me?"
Gail looks him over, "Nope."
Frustrated John storms off in to the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for the boots. Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT NOW?"
Gail looks up and says, "John, what's different? It's hanging down today it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again
tomorrow.
Furious, John yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT IS HANGING DOWN, GAIL? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!"
To which Gail replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, John. Shoulda bought a more...

A factory foreman is walking through the work area, and notices that Kawolski isn't at his station.
He asks one of the other workers if they know where Kawolski is, and the employee points straight up in the air. The foreman looks up, and there's Kawolski, hanging by one arm from the rafters.
"Get down from there, Kawolski," he yells, to which Kawolski replies, "But I'm a light bulb!"
The boss is -NOT- impressed, and makes Kawolski climb down and get back to work.
About an hour later, the boss is walking through the factory once again, and once again he notices that Kawolski is missing. On a hunch, he looks up, and again sees Kawolski hanging by one arm from the rafters.
The foreman makes him climb down, and chews him out, saying that if he catches Kawolski up there one more time, he's going to get fired.
Another hour later, the boss is making another round, and sure enough... there's Kawolski, hanging by one arm from the more...

An old man, Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of his life in a nursing home.
One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked if there was anything wrong.
"Yes, Nurse Tracy," said Mr. Goldstein, "My private part died today, and I am very sad."
Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Goldstein, please accept my condolences".
The following day, Mr. Goldstein was walking down the hall with his private part hanging out of his pajamas, when he met Nurse Tracy.
"Mr. Goldstein," she said, "you shouldn't be walking down the hall like that. Please put your private part back inside your pajamas".
"But, Nurse Tracy," replied Mr. Goldstein, "I told you yesterday that my private part died".
"Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?" asked Nurse Tracy.
"Well," he more...

A traveller in a strange town found that his watch stopped.
He happened to see a door with a big clock hanging outside, so he stepped in.
An elderly Jewish man attended him and he explained that his watch needed fixing.
The elderly man said " I am sorry, sir I cannot help you, I am a mohel not a watchmaker"
The man replied, surprised " If you are a mohel why do you hang a clock outside your door?" The mohel replied "Well, if you were a mohel, what would YOU hang outside your door?"

Q. whats the difference between saddam hussein and a tampon?
A. a tampon is a string hanging from a cunt, and saddams is a cunt hanging from a string

There were 11 people hanging on to a single rope that suspended them from a helicopter trying to bring them to safety. Ten were men; one was a woman.
They all decided that one person would have to let go because if they didn't, the rope would break and all of them would die.
No one could decide who it should be. Finally the woman gave a really touching speech, saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving things up for their husbands and children and giving in to men.
All of the men started clapping.

The diploma hanging in your den contains the words "Trucking Institute".