Haunted Jokes / Recent Jokes
Once upon a time, there was a small family, with a little boy named Harry. They had just moved into a new home. It was tall, creaky, and just the place you would expect to be haunted. But, Harry did not believe in ghosts, or mummies, or witches or any of that stuff.
One day, his parents had to go to the store. They said,"Harry, if you need anything, just call us, or your neighbors." He replied,"I'll be fine." So they left, and Harry was alone. He went to his room, and started to read a book. But, he was interrupted by a little *raprap*. He went downstairs to see if someone was knocking on the door. There was no one there. He heard it again! *raprap* He went back to his room. He heard it again!!! *raprap* He went to the attic stairs door. This time, it was louder!!! *RAPRAP* He opened the door. *RAPRAPRAP* it got louder and faster as he climbed the stairs. *RAPRAPRAPRAP* He opened the attic door, slowly and carefully, and he saw....
Signs Your Mobile Home is Haunted
1. A can of Skoal mysteriously floats through the air.
2. Blood drips out of your simulated wood paneling.
3. The eyes on the velvet Elvis painting move.
4. The room is spinning, and you're not even drunk yet.
5. That Camaro in your front yard isn't on blocks - it's levitating by itself.
6. Your dog, Bo, gets sucked into the TV set, and he's blocking your view of rasslin'.
7. That mysterious scratching below the floorboards? The Telltale Raccoon.
8. The chain the ghost rattles is attached to his wallet.
9. You feel an eerie presence every time "Freebird" plays on the radio.
10. The trailer is shaking, but there's no tornado in sight.
11. Your Dale Earndhart bed sheets have eyeholes cut in them.
12. The ghost is completely invisible except for the tobacco juice running down his chin.
13. Mysterious footsteps seem to be stomping out "Achy Breaky Heart".
14. There's a funny more...
HUMPTY DUMPTY
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King's Horses and all the King's men
Came and ate scrambled eggs again.
Father Bear: Someone has been eating my porridge.
Mother Bear: Someone has been eating my porridge.
Baby Bear (crying): Someone has been eating my porridge!
Granny Bear: Oh, will you all please cut it out?! I haven't even served
the porridge yet!
Why is a pig's tail like getting up at 3 am?. .. Its twirly.
Why did Robin Hood rob only the rich?. .. Because the poor had no money.
Horse walks into a bar. Bartender asks him, "Why the long face?"
Two peanuts walking down the street, one of them's a salted.
What kind of rocks are on the bottom of the Mississippi River? WET rocks.
What is a plumbers favourite flower?. .. Draineeums.
What do you call a pumped-up pumpkin?. .. A jock more...
Your mommas so ugly she went in a haunted house and walked out with a job application.