Hawaii Jokes / Recent Jokes

The following are stories provided by travel agents:

* I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

* A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost information, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

* A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that it was not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state."

* A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8: 20 a. m., and got into Chicago at 8: 33 a. m.? I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the more...

After three months at sea, two men landed in Hawaii on a raft made out of plastic bottles. And by booking their travel with Orbitz, they saved ten bucks!

The following are actual stories told by travel agents (and you wonder why US citizens generally score less than the rest of the world on geography)...

- I had someone who wanted to stay at the Bob Newhart Inn in Connecticut. When I explained that the inn was fictional, the customer became very irate and insisted' I know it is real, I see people check in every week!'

- Also, I really did have someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

- A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked,' would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?'

- I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with' I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts.' Without trying to make her look like the more...

A man was walking along a beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up, rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said "You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!" The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. "Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?" The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete! How much steel! You're going to have to think of another wish." The man agreed, and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My w ives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish more...

1. I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
2. A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost information, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
3. I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa."Her response was "click."
4. A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, more...

The aircraft was flying into Honolulu when the man in the window seat spoke to his fellow passenger for the first time.

"How do you pronounce it, Hawaii or Havaii?"

"Havaii," said the passenger.

"Thanks."

"You're velcome."

A Jewish man and his wife were planning a vacation. They ended up in an argument, though. ..
"It's' Hawaii' I'm telling you!" she said.
"Oy! I never KNEW someone so stubborn!' Havaii' is how it's pronounced!" he replied. And so it went all the way to the vacation. ..
As they got off the airplane, they passed by a man. The husband abruptly stopped the wife and turned to the man to ask, "Now that we're on the island, you can settle an argument between my wife and I. Is this' Hawaii' or' Havaii?'"
"This is Havaii," the man replied.
"Ha!" the husband said, turning to his wife, "See, didn't I tell you never to argue with me? I'm alllll-ways right!"
As the began to walk away, he turned back and gave the man a hearty "Thank you!"
"You're Velcome!!!"