Hawaii Jokes / Recent Jokes

This guy is walking on the beach somewhere in California. He sees a
lamp,
rubs it, and a Genie comes out. The genie is so happy that he decides
to
grant one wish to the lucky guy.
The guy thinks about it and says, "I'd like you to build a highway to
Hawaii
because I am afraid to fly. The genie responds that this can't be done
because it would be technologically impossible considering the depth of
the
ocean and the distance to Hawaii. So he asks the guy to wish for
something
else.
The guy thinks about it and, very enthusiastically, wishes he would
understand women.
The genie than said, "Do you want your highway to have 2 or 4 lanes?"

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.

The genie said, "OK, You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three... You only get one wish!"

The man sat, and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"

The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible!!! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete -- how much steel!! No, think of another wish."

The man said "OK, I will try to think of a really good wish". Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always more...

A man was walking along the beach at Malibu when he found an old glass bottle. He could see something inside, but the glass was dark green and scratched. .. so he opened it.

A Genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The Genie said, "For your kindness I will grant you one wish, but only one."

The man thought for a minute and said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii, but have never been able to because I'm afraid of flying and ships make me claustrophobic and ill. So, I wish for a bridge to be built from here to Hawaii."

The Genie thought for a few minutes and said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved with the pilings needed to hold up the highway and how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the concrete that would be needed, not to mention the surfacing, drainage systems, lighting. .. No, that is too much to ask."

The man more...

Sarah Palin said she meant no disrespect after she was photographed wearing a hat on which Sen. John McCain's name had been blacked out. Palin explained that she was trying to remain "incognito" while vacationing in Hawaii. Interestingly, Palin ran into another person with a blacked out hat--a Mets fan.

This ethnically disadvantaged male person goes into the travel agency and proclaims, "I've seen your ad about a $99. 00 trip to Hawaii, and I'd like to go."
The travel agent says, "Listen, friend, this is my first day here, but I know about all the details of that crumby $99. 00 offer, and believe me, you DON'T want it. Take the next best offer, which is only $1, 399. 00."
"Oh, no you don't," says the Polak, "you're not going to catch ME with that bait and switch. The ad says `$99. 00 to Hawaii,' and THAT's what I want."
"Okay," says the agent, who takes a baseball bat from under the desk and hits the Polak in the head. The Polak wakes up a few hours later, on a raft out in the Pacific Ocean!
He looks around, and there's NOTHING, only he and another Polak on the raft.
"What are we going to do?" cries our hero, "surely they'll send a ship for us."
"I don't think so," responds more...

One day a man was walking along the beach when he found a bottle, when he opened it up a genie poped out. The genie said he could have one wish. The man thought about it a while then told the man that he was afraid of heights and got sea sick, but really wanted to go to Hawaii so he asked the genie to make a highway to Hawaii.
"I don't know said the genie", that is really difficult. Do you have another request?"
"Well, I really want to know all about women, you know, how they tick and why their the way they are!"
The genie replied: "Will that be two lanes or four?"

One day a man was walking along the beach when he found a bottle, when he opened it up a genie poped out. The genie said he could have one wish. The man thought about it a while then told the man that he was afraid of heights and got sea sick, but really wanted to go to Hawaii so he asked the genie to make a highway to Hawaii."I don't know said the genie", that is really difficult. Do you have another request?""Well, I really want to know all about women, you know, how they tick and why their the way they are!"The genie replied: "Will that be two lanes or four?"