Hazard Jokes / Recent Jokes

One sunny day Jesus, Moses and a small, elderly man were playing golf.
Jesus was the first to tee off and he hit the ball a little left and it ended up in the water hazard. Because it was Jesus, his ball floated and when he got down to the hazard he walked upon the water and hit the ball onto the green.
Moses was the next to tee off, and like Jesus he hit the ball into the water hazard. When he got down to the hazard, he parted the waters and hit the ball onto the green.
The little old man was next, and he too hit into the water hazard. Just then a big fish swallowed the ball and began to swim away. A hawk swooped down and grabbed the fish in its talons and started to fly off. As the hawk passed over the green, it tightened its grip on the fish which caused the ball to pop out of the fish. The ball landed on the green and rolled into cup.
Jesus then turned to the old man and said, "Look Dad, if you're going to play, play fair."

Moses and Jesus were in a threesome playing golf one day. Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. The ball landed in the fairway, but rolled directly toward a water hazard. Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side, safe and sound.
Next, Jesus strolled up to the tee and hit a nice long one directly toward the same water hazard. It landed right in the center of the pond and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus casually walked out on the pond and chipped the ball onto the green.
The third guy got up and sort of randomly whacked the ball. It headed out over the fence and into oncoming traffic on a nearby street. It bounced off a truck and hit a nearby tree. From there, it bounced onto the roof of a shack close by and rolled down into the gutter, down the drainspout, out onto the fairway and straight toward the aforementioned pond. On the way to the pond, the ball hit a little stone and bounced out over the water onto a lily pad, more...

I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a red Mustang doing 85 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner! I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane. It scared me so bad I dropped my electric shaver in my coffee, and it spilled all over my cell phone!

Things are slow in Heaven one day, so Moses suggests to Jesus that they go down to Earth and play a round of golf; Jesus agrees.
On the first hole, there's a long fairway with a water hazard before the green. Standing at the championship tee, Moses points to the novice tees and says "Jesus, I think we should tee off from up there. I don't think we can make it over the water from here."
Jesus replies, "I've seen Arnold Palmer make his shot from here many times, and if Arnold Palmer can do it, so can I."
Jesus puts his ball down and drives it toward the green. It sails up over the fairway, out over the water, then SPLASH, it falls in the water. Moses walks out, parts the water, retrieves Jesus' ball, and brings it back.
"Jesus," Moses says, "I really think we should tee off from up there. I don't think we can make it over the water from here."
Jesus insists, "I've seen Arnold Palmer make his shot from here many times, more...

Moses and Jesus were in a threesome playing golf one day.
Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. The ball landed in the fairway, but rolled directly toward a water hazard. Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side, safe and sound.
Next, Jesus strolled up to the tee and hit a nice long one directly toward the same water hazard. It landed right in the centre of the pond and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus casually walked out on the pond and chipped the ball onto the green.
The third guy got up and sort of randomly whacked the ball. It headed out bounced off a truck and hit a nearby tree. From there, it bounced onto the roof of a shack close by and rolled down into the gutter, down the drainspout, out onto the fairway and straight toward the aforementioned pond. On the way to the pond, the ball hit a little stone and bounced out over the water onto a lily pad, where it rested quietly. Suddenly a very large bullfrog more...