Headless Jokes

This is the story of the night my ten-year-old cat, Rudy, got his head stuck in the garbage disposal. I knew at the time that the experience would be funny if the cat survived, so let me tell you right up front that he's fine. Getting him out wasn't easy, though, and the process included numerous home remedies, a plumber, two cops, an emergency overnight veterinary clinic, a case of mistaken identity, five hours of panic, and fifteen minutes of fame.

My husband, Rich, and I had just returned from a vacation in the Cayman Islands, where I had been sick as a dog the whole time, trying to convince myself that if I had to feel lousy, it was better to do it in paradise. We had arrived home at 9 p.m., a day and a half later than we had planned because of airline problems. I still had illness-related vertigo, and because of the flight delays, had not been able to prepare the class I was supposed to teach at 8:40 the next morning. I sat down at my desk to think and around ten more...

I can' think of anyone actually making this up... Before starting a band, you should know that the following names are taken:

[ a ]
Alcoholocaust
Alcoholics Unanimous
Armageddon Dildos

[ b ]
Biff Hitler and the Violent Mood Swings
The Band Formerly Known As Sausage
Band Over
Barbara's Bush
The Bourbon Tabernacle Choir
The Boxing Ghandis
Brady Bunch Lawnmower Massacre
Bulimia Banquet
Buster Hymen & the Penetrators

[ c ]
Caltransvestites
Cindy Brady's Lisp

[ d ]
The Dancing French Liberals of 1848
The Dead Sea Squirrels
Dicky Retardo
Drunks With Guns

[ e ]
e. coli
Electric Prostates
Elvis Hitler

[ f ]
Fearless Iranians From Hell
Fields of Shit
'57 Lesbian
The 4-Skins
Four Nurses of the Apocalypse
The French are from Hell
Fromage d'Amour

[ g ]
Gefilte Joe and the more...