Headlights Jokes / Recent Jokes

A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and his front bumper smashed. There's no sign of the offending vehicle, but he's relieved to see that there's a note stuck under the windshield wiper. The lawyer picks up the note. "Sorry. I just backed into your Beemer. The witnesses who saw the accident are nodding and smiling at me because they think I'm leavingmy name, address and other particulars. But I'm not."

A little girl ask her mom if she can take a shower with her. The mom says okay but don't look up or down. The little girl says okay. So they're taking a shower and the little girl looks up and says mommy what are those?
The mom says oh those are my headlights. Then she looks down and says mommy what's that? The mom says oh uh that's my garage. The next day the little girl asks her dad if she can take a shower with him. He says okay but don't look down. So they're in the shower and she looks down and says daddy what's that?
He says that's my limo. That same night she asks mommy daddy can sleep with you guys and the mom and dad say yeah sure. So that night the little girl wakes up and looks under the covers and says "
Mommy mommy turn on your headlights dady's limo is going into your garage !"

Little Billy is at home and his mom is in the shower. Billy walks in on her and sees her breasts and says "Mommy what are those?" His mom replies, "Well, Billy, those are my headlights." "Oh" says Billy. Then he looks down between her legs and sees hair there. "Mommy, what is that?" he asks. His mom thinks a bit, then says, "Billy, that is my lawn".
"Oh, i see," says Billy, and he goes back downstairs.
Later in the day, Billy's dad is in the shower and Billy walks in on him, and sees his penis. "Daddy, what is that long thing?" asks Billy. His dad, having already spoken to his mom, is well prepared and responds, "Well, Billy, that is my snake." Billy says, "Oh, ok dad" and then goes down stairs.
Later that night, when Billy is in bed, he hears noises coming from his parents bedroom, and goes to see what is going on. Upon walking into the room, Billy yells out, "MOMMY MOMMY, QUICK more...