Hear Jokes / Recent Jokes

Did you hear about the witch who was ashamed of her long black hair? She always wore long gloves to cover it up.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed? A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.

We pick on everyone!
How can you tell the Irish guy in the hospital? He's the one blowing the foam off of his bedpan. ===========================
Why don't Italians have acne? It slides off. ==========================
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a black baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong! ==========================
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horses behind? A Mechanic. =========================
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A Speech Impediment! =========================
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast? They're hiring. =========================
Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek? Because they're not going to work in the future either. =========================
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying "Yo!" ========================
Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A more...

A quick narrative. I always wanted a hopped up muscle car when I was younger. I couldn't afford one. Now I can, and I have one. It's a '70 Mustang, and her name is Bessie. Bessie is the proto-typical juvenile, male-caveman, scratch yourself and drink cheap beer car. Chromed engine, dual exhaust, 250 horsepower, big tires.
I'm driving Bessie on Beach Boulevard behind an ancient guy in a beat up truck. He decides to turn in front of me without a blinker. I accelerate to swerve and avoid him, and this crazy, over aerobicized woman jumps in front of my car with her hand up. Meet Ethel, the neighborhood busybody/nuisance.
She proceeds to yell in my window, "Hey, slow down you idiot." I'm a well-bred, mellow guy by nature, so I ignore this. As I drive away, she yells, "Jerk" at me again. Twice? I turn around and drive up next to her.
"Do you have a problem?" I ask.
"Yeah, why are you driving like an idiot?"
"I was driving like more...

Did you hear about the lady whose house was infested with Easter eggs? She had to call an eggs-terminator!

Q: Why do cats like to hear other cats make noise? - A: It's meow-sic to their ears!

SCHIZOPHRENIA
Do you Hear What I Hear?
MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER
We Three Queens Disoriented Are
DEMENTIA
I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas
NARCISSISTIC
Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
MANIC
Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and. ..
PARANOID
Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me.
PERSONALITY DISORDER
You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell you why.
DEPRESSION
Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All is Flat, All is Lonely.
OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle more...