Hear Jokes / Recent Jokes

The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon when he noticed a young woman in the front row, wearing a tight dress with her boobs almost hanging out. He couldn't concentrate on his message to the flock, so he dismissed the service and asked to speak to the woman after everyone else left the church. When they were alone, the reverend said in his sternest lecturing voice. "Just what do you mean, coming to church dressed like that?""Why reverend." the young thing replied. All of my boyfriends tell me that they can hear the angels sing when they put their heads on my breasts.""Hmm. Well let me check," said the man of the cloth, placing his head between her tits. After several minutes, he raised his head and said. "I don't hear any angels singing!""Of course not reverend." she said. Your not plugged in yet."

Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint? A: Its not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.

Two avid golfers were sitting in the clubhouse. One said to his friend, "I'm sorry to hear that your uncle passed away last week. I understand that it was while you two were playing golf. I hear you carried him all the way back to the clubhouse. That must have been very hard for you considering he weighed over two hundred pounds. "Oh, carrying him wasn't that hard," said his friend, sadly. "The difficult part was putting him down... and then picking him up again after every stroke."

A blonde got a family farm from her grandparents so sh did'nt no wat to name it so she goes to the city and says the first word i hear is wat i'll name it so the first word she heard was butt so she named it butt so she buys a dog and does'nt know wat to name so she goes to the city and says the first word i hear is wat i'll name it the first word she heard was crack so she named it crack the next day she lost her dog so she goes to report at the police station and says"i looked all over my butt and i can't find my crack.
lol sign samantha

Did you hear about the baby mouse that saw a bat?
He ran home and told his mother he`d seen and angel¦

Tragically, three friends die in a car crash, and they find themselves at the gates of heaven. Before entering, they are each asked a question by St. Peter.
"When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?", asks St. Peter.
The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."
The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."
The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say.... LOOK!!! HE'S MOVING!!!!"

Did you hear about the guy who died of Viagra overdose? They couldn't close his casket.